I keep thinking especially when I wake up at night, about WAW's analogy (which she repeated lst weekend) about a car that never had it's oil changed, and how one day it'll stop working never to go again.
Or in other words, how her love tank was slowly drained and not topped up.
There are mechanics who know how to fix cars and there are marriage counsellors who can fix broken marriages but she wont consider it. It is so unfair.
But enough of that. Continuing with my recent postive posts theme:
Today I took part in a mass 'ice' bucket challenge with colleages from my company. The ice is in quotes as we didn't have any, but that doesn't really matter, it's making the effort and contribting that counts.
My friend phoned up to see how a I was. Last time I spoke to him was during one of the worst times and he urged me to spend more time away. Those times will probably return periodically, but I feel I must face up to them as well rather than run away.
I'm up to date with La Vuelta. It's huge pity that Quitana has had to pull out .. and Morobito too although he wasn't a GC contender.
I had an exta hour's sleep last night after going to bed at 11pm instead of my customary midnight. I meant to do it again tonight but I'm 15 mins late already. This is always happening.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
Your wife has a good analogy going with the car there - I would just argue that the car will in fact go again - you just have to rebuild the engine!
And that's a lot more work than getting a new car BUT the sense of accomplishment of finding all the parts that don't work, replacing them and putting it all back together piece by piece is totally worth it.
It's such a pity she want to scrap it. It makes me feel sad, bitter, hopeful, hopeless, angry, determined and many more emotions.
And to think our poor litle car is so battered and bruised because she keeps bumping into things. Luckily all her mishaps are at low speed - well apart from the 4 speeding fines I think she's up to now.
The 2am blues are here.
Sleeeeeeep ... pleeeeeease. I'm trying to focus on the breath - well: when I'm not venting on here. Time to have another go.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
My yoga teacher used to have us intentionally scrunch up our bodies head to toes, and then carefully go through each part unclench ing and breathing light into the newly opened space. Hopefully you've put away your bright little screen and are settling into sleep, but on the off-chance you're not....
Sweet dreams.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I did put away my bright little screen and did get some more sleep thanks Maybell. Not the best sleep, woke several times but managed to stay in bed until 10 mins before the alarm went off.
I'm starting yoga on Monday - least ways, I think I am, I've sent the money but not had confirmation yet. I'll have to chase that. I've never done it before and I'm really looking forward to it ... as long as I don't have to wrap my legs around the back of my head on the first day.
Today's positives
I managed to get an iteration of the company's website out the door today. It's getting harder each time. We're supposed to be agile, but I think they just missed the 'fr' off the front of the word. I think I just ruined that positive item.
I went to see my counsellor and although it was my last session with her (company insurance rules) I came out feeling better able to cope again.
My wife actually called me ... on the phone ... and spoke to me. OK it was about logistical stuff tomorrow, but I managed to get in a bit of chat. She must be reading the same manual about hanging up first though, although to be fair I think it was bedtime for the boys soon.
Today was national cycle to work day in merry England. I didn't know until I found a queue at the shower. It was good to see more people trying it out.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
I have a car analogy, too, since my H is a car nut. I told him that this has felt like he took his race car which requires high octane gas and put either regular or diesel in it. Killed the engine right dead.
But - I agree that the engine can be rebuilt. Hey - rebuilds sometimes make the engine stronger! Woo!
Cycle to work day! How fun!
Enjoy yoga. Give it a few classes. I found the first one incredibly intimidating, but over time it has come to be a real safe haven for me. Oh - and I've gotten really strong doing it, too, which is a nice bonus!
