I have observed the same things in my STBXW. She acts like shes a young college kids again. And uust like Ms XH she plYs the victim in this ( "telling me...i lost my home and family...telling others she cant believe i actually moved on....") reality...you walked away from you home and family. You pushed me away and then said you did not want to be married anymore. You chose this life.
GB i am sorry for you pain at this. I can see that my children are beginnig to healt. I have made a conscious choice to lead them out of this place. Tbey seem to be responding to that.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
GeorgiaBelle I'm late to the party but thanks for the encouragement! I'm glad you're doing things for yourself. Your kids will be great. They've got you.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Thanks everyone. I love everyone's insight, perspective, 2x 4s, encouragement....you get the point.
The universe spoke to me yesterday. I got out my engagement ring to see if I wanted to take the stones and eventually make something different with it. S11 asked me to come outside on the front porch so I put it on my right hand. He needed help untangling something. A bee hive is near the porch but we have left alone to preserve nature. So I walk outside in my very colorful dress and d9 comes outside and leaves door open. My children have some type of deficiency when it comes to closing doors and drawers. Bees became agitated and one got between bottom of foot and my sandal and you get STUNG. That hurt like. (Insert expletive). Worse 4 came in house. I manage to get stung on hand and killed another. So much for preserving nature. Babysitter arrives and she's about 8 inches taller. The last 2 had nestled in light. She jumped right in to help. Isn't that what you want to come home from college to-bee trapping? Anyway we managed to kill last 2 and I hobbled out to run an errand and lament the feeling of a nail in the bottom of my foot. No worries- I have hazard pay to sitter:-). I decided to put ring away. No need to stir a hornets nest. Bada bing!
And I know this was wrong (my bee sting was the 2x4) I had to know if stbxh sat in student section. And drum roll.....,, he sat in student section. Of course I did too. Until I was 21 when I graduated:-). Wow. Poor guy just seems.....pathetic. I would never say that of course.
Pool today. S4 is going to his dad's. Other 2 declined the invite. Bees beware! Hope everyone is taking a little time for themselves this weekend.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I have an issue. S4 went with his dad and asked if he could spend the night. Stbx said he had to work tonight and tomorrow. Older kids began jumping up and and down when they left saying "he's lying mommy! He's not working." This is not my issue.
I ran errand with other S and D. At lunch, they made the comment that their Dad said they have been eating too much lately. Both s and d have gained some weight since their dad's overt crisis began in 2013. S has some anxiety and stress eating as did D. I want the kids to be healthy, however I've not made any deal out of this. Certainly not calling them out on it as it's rather obvious why it has occurred. He also told kids I are too much sometimes. However, I just said, " I do indulge sometimes. I work out and try to be as healthy as possible." (I'm pretty gosh darn fit although not ready for the next Victoria's Secret catalog). Mentally I was thinking that I can eat better some days although I'm most happy to be sane. That's not very DB, huh? It bothers me because he sees them about 6 hours a week and to choose this one topic with them versus asking how they are (he's never asked ), how school is, etc just irritates me. For the record, he is not an Olympic triathlete. Yes, I realize I'm senstibr to this topic. I do not want the kids to obsess about this garbage like I did.
Which brings me to a call with my mom. I DB my mom big time. The call was generally pleasant until she said ,"how much does D weigh now?" I just said that I wasn't sure and we've been enjoying the pool and horseback lessons this summer.
WTF is up with people and weight? It never crosses my mind to ask people how much they weigh. I did talk to the kids doctor in private and he said it was not uncommon. I will not make a big deal about this. The kids are not obese.
D did say that I was too pleasant to their Dad and why didn't I call him out. I barely speak to him. I told her that I can only control me and I do what I think is best. My goal is one day to have a friendly R with their Dad. It's difficult right now as he lies about everything. As the vets tell me, this is who is now and I do understand that. Old stbxh would never have said something like this to kids. Grrrrrrr.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Hilarious! Stbxh had s4 for a few hours before, ahem, having to work. I check S's bag as I was getting a swimsuit out. Out drops a University of X Veterinary School t shirt. A said, "look what my dad got me." Hmmmmmmm. Wonder how he got that?
Stbx MIL asked me if she could burn it. Happy Labor Day:-)
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 09/01/1401:14 PM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
It should be a simple gift of a garment. But it's associated with so much that is wrong! I don't know how you kept your cool, but great job not losing it.
That your stbx is fixated on the weight thing is another reflection of himself. He is unhappy on the inside so he will focus on outside things that he thinks he can change.
You are doing the right thing not mentioning their weight gain to your kids.
The obsession and focus on weight is such a waste of time and energy. Encourage your kids as you do to stay fit and healthy with swimming and riding.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
