1. Are you considering pursuing him for sex to try to glean information? Because that's what ^^^ sounds like.
2. My H, when he left the 1st time, seemed to not be able to "do" 2 at a time. The 2nd time? He carried on a PA while having sex with me until I busted the A. Men like sex. And when it's about sex, they tend to be able to compartmentalize and act outside of the character WE "know" them to have.
3. Are you willing to live in an open M? I wouldn't judge you if you were; many people on these boards have been willing. But my own conviction was I would not live in an open M with a third party. And until I had proof that H's A was done, it would really weaken my boundary if I had sex with him (thus condoning an open M).
4. Am I remembering correctly that you two ML before OW moved to town? I could be thinking of someone else's sitch.
5. Would you be emotionally ready to put yourself out for sex and be rejected?
6. Would you be emotionally ready to have sex and not hear from your H afterward?
I know you will do what you feel is the right thing to do.
I think sex as a 180 when an OP may still be involved is risky business. But that's just me.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
1. My initial motive was not to glean info, but I can't deny the fact that how he reacted ultimately would provide info.
2. Yup, who knows, maybe he could do it now even though he apparently couldn't initially.
3. No, but I am also counting on him rejecting me if he were involved with her again. As you said, maybe not
4. Yes
5. Probably not
6. No
I think I have my answer
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
For some reason today I've got that strong 'yuck, God I wish this nightmare would just end' feeling in my belly.
Was kid free last night and stayed home alone for the evening (watched the movie "the other woman" which is a really great laugh, esp for LBSs, btw). Working at home today because I had to meet a garage repair man. Probably too much alone time, although I'm psyched to be getting some much needed house stuff done. It's truly silly some of the things I've procrastinated on bc I felt overwhelmed and/or intimidated. The more I do stuff, the more determined I feel to find a way to keep this house no matter what.
Fortunately have lots of GAL plans over the next several days. Taking the kids to a summer party at D4's preschool this evening. H can't make it, which I am kind of glad. Although I might have to meet him briefly beforehand to exchange some of the kids stuff. Probably will take the kids to our town summer fest tomorrow night. Then my brother is coming up again for the weekend, it's my parents 50th anniversary. Lots to keep me busy and hopefully mind off H.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Met H to exchange a few kid items and incredibly had one of the warmest, lightest interactions since he told me OW was moving to his office. I brought him zucchini brownies this time that made him happy. We chatted about his work some then I told him about a really cool project I am starting at my job. He was impressed.
I walked away feeling like someone he'd be a fool to leave
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Thx, Wonka, I have to remind myself it ultimately feels good for ME. It's the person I want to be: light, fun, interesting, sweet.
The baking for him is working out great. It's something I used to do for him when we were dating. And I generally do it a lot in the summer with garden stuff so it's not too obviously a ploy. Also, I was able to slide in calling him a silly nickname I used to several years ago during a text exchange afterwards. It fit perfectly and I got a giant smiley back.
I'm workin it!
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Maybe I should try baking when my PMA makes another appearance.
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
that made him happy. We chatted about his work some then I told him about a really cool project I am starting at my job. He was impressed. 