Ready for some forum help

[NewB3]

While out of town, I started a game we play on iPad. We had finished the last one the week before. I started it the night before she came back as I new, per her FaceTime call to the S3.5 that she passed up the company dinner to catch up on work and sleep. She chatted with me more than usual, as I offered not much other than an interested ear. She arrived home Thursday from the business trip. Exhausted, but called to let me know when she drove from the airport. She talked a lot about her drive and I listened. I provided a lot of validation. She was exhausted from the schedule. She never mentioned the two S 3.5 pics I sent her.
She was tired, so I told myself that I was not going to be important on her schedule when she got home. I had already taken car of S 3.5. She put him to bed. Friday was very lame. I left for work...late due to S 3.5 wanting every second with her. I simply said have a good day and closed the door, not waiting for a response. I texted her later "thanks for being beautiful and for all you do." ...no reply. I called about lunch to talk about S 10 plans. No answer, left no message. She called back in 20 min. Said she had been on conf. Call. I kept it brief and Cut it short...mentioned dinner...no plans. Called on way home, she answered. Discussed dinner. I ran by grocery on way home. Had quick sit down fam dinner.
Work issue, rare... Kept her up late...then almost asleep, she went to bed having to finish work at 12. I took boys out until mid morning, let her sleep in. When I got home we chatted about the day and she thanked me for picking up one of her favs at the grocery last night. ( I notice when she is out of stuff, but say nothing) Took boys back out after lunch so she could nap. We came back two hours later. I told her that I was taking S10 out of town Sunday evening thru Tuesday AM, since our usual boys trip with friends did not happen.
I validated her long hours, lack of sleep, and her moodiness. She admitted after being kind of snippy with me, that she was just really tired. She talked while I was cooking dinner about her trip. She asked me questions of and on this afternoon about my trip, where the boys and I went while she napped....what I bought. Etc.
Not sure if she is warming up or I am distancing and she sees it? I will just keep doing 180's and being her friend. Hmmm, is she relaxing, because I get she wants a D and thinks I am moving forward too? Or is she softening? Time will tell.
At least I get some good time with my friend and children. Hope I get my wife back...sure miss being honest with her about my love. We did book a second C session, so I have that to look forward to. Patience, stillness, focus, and GAL.

[NewB3]

I cooked a good dinner tonight. We all sat down and ate. I will be gone tomorrow afternoon thru tues. aM. I was putting away things. She has her T Monday night. She had to make plans for a sitter. Reality? Hmmm
She will have no home cooked meals, help with S3.5, and a messy home.
She came home last week to a spotless house and all laundry was washed and put away.

[NewB3]

Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have. - Unknown

Read this on a sign the other day. Helps me focus on today! Enjoy

[NewB3]

Booked a last minute trip for S10 and I. Told her Saturday and we left Sunday afternoon. She hugged him goodbye and said not much to me. Did not call, text, email. Came home Tuesday noon. She had an appt for s3.5 and was to leave at 330. Ran errands with s10 and got car cleaned and gassed. Returned by 230, she was working and dressed to go, had on wedding ring., which is usually the last thing on as she grabs her purse. Asked about dinner, I said thought we could eat leftovers unless she had plans. I said if you want me to cook, let me know. She said sure...I said what. She picked a dish. S10 and I had dinner ready when s3.5 and her got home. I was quiet most of the afternoon and at dinner. She did ask me after dinner if I wanted to do the dishes or give s3.5 a bath. I told her I did not care which...then corrected myself by saying I have no preference. She said well, you can do either or none. I was shocked, but kept my cool and mentioned that she had the s3.5 the past few days, so I would bath him. I said that for 2 reasons. 1. I watched him 3days and 2 nights and she never mentioned it. 2. Being a good husband.
At dinner, she asked s10 questions about trip....one odd question was, did you sleep in the same tent?
Found out today...renewing car tag that car is in her maiden name. They will jot renew for 2015 without her fixing that. She told me, I might as well go ahead and sign it over to you. Let me know how to do that. That way it will be one less thing to worry about.
I remember
None of what you hear...1/2 of what you see.
So we have heard.....car title thing
Seen....wedding ring and her ask weird questions
Thoughts?

[MrBond]

My thought is that you analyze EVERY LITTLE thing she does too much. I mean you put the times of when she did things too. How about describing what you and your son did together while you were away?

[NewB3]

We went camping at a state park a few hours away. I had a spot right by the water. I woke early and made a fire, breakfast and coffee. I sat and watched the world come alive...all alone, Just me and nature. Then S10 would wake and I would do my cooking all over again. Trying to teach a little as well
I did a lot of thinking about my sitch, then would focus on relaxing and just being. I feel renewed and ready to come back to my limbo roller coaster.

[NewB3]

I try to keep journaling here to get advice from the vets that know my story and the typical signs. What can I do at this point?

[NewB3]

So, our family weekend trip is over. We both felt it went as good as it could. We did have issues with S3.5 and S10 being out of control. This forced us to tag team parent and help each other out a lot. A few times this weekend she was extra attentive.
Tonight we sat down for our talk prior to our next C meeting. It turned into a buffet of topics and we spent the full 45 minutes honestly talking about feelings, communication issues, and where she was in the feelings/emotional process. Essentially, I told her this. She is at the finish line (D) waiting for me to catch up. She agreed. This IS NOT easy. She did tear up a few times. I did too. This was a fantastic 45 minutes, however, the darkness has crept in. She has not connection with me at this point. Somewhere along the way that left and she made up her mind to be divorced. Simple as that, no other reasons.
My issue here is what to do now. We agreed to go to one more therapy session tomorrow. She feels that I have tried to drag this out, but after talking to me knows that I was being genuine and doing all I could to save my family. I have no regrets other than not going with her to therapy last year. Maybe we would have ended up here or maybe we could have kept the flame alive through good communication.
We live together, settlement will be worked out. I am allowing her to walk at this point. I SOOoooo want to go dark, but have to much respect for her while living here. Need the vet's to chime in quickly. I feel my next few weeks are critical. I will remain making her feel she is a fool for leaving. I will continue the "as if", until I leave. I feel doing the 180's is a way of life now. Keeping that going.

HELP

[NewB3]

Another book and site I would recommend is Project Happily Ever After. You can have her read it as it is from the POV of a WAS who actually did the work as a last ditch effort to save her M.

Going to send her this kindle book. I have nothing to lose. Should I....
Ask her to give it one final try. Negotiate for an extended warranty on your marriage. You can’t talk her into loving you, but you might be able to talk her into trying by saying something like, “Will you give me four months of your time? During these four months, I promise to do everything I can to become a man you would like to be married to. If, after four months, you see no improvement, you can leave and I will not try to stop you. If, after four months, however, you see some improvement, we can extend the trial date another four months and another four months and so on.”

Thoughts?

[NewB3]

Does anyone have any suggestions or advice?