Hi I'm new, I hope I won't be a burden... prt 4

[unbidden]

I think that you're bent on self-sabotaging your sitch.

[Old Dog]

And now she does. You need to get over it.

In the same way that you cannot change anyone else, only yourself.

It may not even last: it may be an experiment.

[Ss06]

you have got to be kidding me. shorts? you're against shorts? you're going on a trip with your wife who decided to stay and make it work and you're complaining about shorts?

I can't even...

its out of character.. she never used to wear revealing clothes..

Is it not also out of character that your wife who wanted to leave you is now trying to reconcile with you? You're not getting it at all. "she never used to" doesn't get you very far. In the list of things that are battleworthy in your ever so precarious situation, shorts is at the very bottom of the list, dude.

[1Wish]

I think i got married to young... i havnt grown up yet.. i dont want to accept these things they piss me off...

I hope its experimental and yes i guess reconciling is out of character aswell.. but so was the divorce.. shes not the woman i fell in love with and married.

She has either changed for the worse.. or was a fake to begin with.

[claire7]

1wish... do you come from a very traditional, or male-dominated culture? For some reason I've gotten the feeling that you are.

I mean no offense, but I don't think you'll get much support for that mindset ("I'm her husband, so I get to tell her what to wear") on these boards.

[recng]

I think i got married to young... i havnt grown up yet..

Ding, ding, ding.

In all seriousness 1Wish, I've read through your threads and it's obvious that you're young and don't want to compromise or grow up. There were times in your threads I just wanted to post "Get a divorce, be single"... but this is a pro marriage website and all. I'm a pro marriage guy as well... but you don't have kids, you're really young, and it's obvious you made a mistake.

Of course it seems pretty crappy of you to get mad at her for wanting a divorce and now you want one. But I think you both will be better off. Who knows maybe three years down the road you'll be more mature and things could work out with your W in the future.

[MrBond]

"Because its revealing and slutty. Yeah clothes that reveal cleavage. I dont like em because they are revealing and slutty.. who she trynna impress?"

I guess my W is slutty because she wears shorts. Thanks for saying that.

In fact, I like it when she wears shorts because it shows off her legs and shows the other guys what they can't have.

Get over it. You're sounding like the @$$hole again. You never listened to what she wanted you to change. Why do you want to control her? What are you, her father?

"@ mrbond - i have changed trust me i have."

In what way? C'mon be honest. What "lifelong" change that you were promising and praying would happen if your W would just come back, have you actually put into place? You are still the immature kid that came on the boards crying.

"But i just feel its unfair. And some things she should listen to me about.. im her husband.. im sure theres women out there that always listen to their husband.. "

No. There are women out there who "respect" their H. You don't respect her so she doesn't respect you.

"this bitch dont even respect me or my wishes.."

Calling your W a bitch isn't exactly being respectful. Hey, I know, why don't you go and get a D and then go out with someone else, start calling them a bitch and you'll always have their love.

"I think i got married to young..."

BS. There's no such thing. I know MANY men (and note, I said men) who are much more responsible than you and who are much younger. If you think you're a man, then start acting like one.

"i havnt grown up yet.. "

Bingo. Actually, this is a choice. You just don't want to grow up. You want to hang out at the gym, play video games all day, call your W a bitch, have sex with her whenever you want, not let her have friends who are real men (because you can't amount to it), and oh yeah, not let her wear shorts.

Did I miss anything?

"i dont want to accept these things they piss me off... "

You have control issues. And I notice you never followed through on going to counseling or getting help for yourself like you promised over and over and over again. Now that she's back in your life, you think you're the one in the driver's seat now. You're not.

[Barrybran]

Whoa, I just got caught up with this. 1Wish, I seriously hope you either grow up or your wife finds someone more deserving than you. Your wife is her own person with her own likes, dislikes, wants and needs. You have no control over her and she has no control over you.

I sincerely hope you learn something from this site before it's too late. I tried, as have many others, but I fold. Good luck.

[MrBond]

So are you still around? You can't expect to make a comment about shorts making a woman slutty and not get replies.

Are you man enough to change or are you going to stay the controlling little boy?

[1Wish]

So are you still around? You can't expect to make a comment about shorts making a woman slutty and not get replies.

Are you man enough to change or are you going to stay the controlling little boy?

I just get slapped left and right here. Although i appreciate all the advice.. i dont know where to go from here.. and yeah im always going to be around.. unfotunately..

To be fair i didnt mean to portray women as sluts whom wear shorts.. its just my perspective on my wife.

A man can fall in love and marry a porn star and find it ok and normal.

Everyone has a different perspective. I was merely saying it as it was out of character.. but what do i know.. clearly im f ucked from what you guys say so fuc k it..