Wife officially walked away just over a month ago

[BigMac]

Another contact from the W today (and yesterday). I was out GAL doing flying lessons and she texted me asking me to overnight her contacts to her (70 dollars to overnight btw).

I responded a couple hours later asking where they were, and then waited till this morning when I was on the road driving to pick up my S8 from the grandparents to ping her about the address.

I ended up sending it out after I had lunch with S8 (it was great putting us first), and Texted her the receipt with the tracking number.

Dumb question, is it normal for her not to say please and thank you about things? Normally I add please to a request. Or am I just reading into her MLC craziness?

Positive things about the interaction.
1. I matched her pace of texts, waited as long to respond as she did
2. I didn't say the last thing (I let her reply to the last message, and then didn't reply ..
3. I am trying not to let the rude / selfish side of her get to me. Knowing that this is not her true self, but her MLC self.

[pilot]

My W asked me to FED EX her a document the other day. I did. She got it this morning and was very grateful when she got it as well as when I texted her a copy of the receipt with the tracking number. I am not saying this to brag, but to illustrate reactions based on where you are in your DB efforts and where your W is emotionally. 2 months ago I am positive it would have gone unmentioned by her. Do not read anything into her reply (in my case) or lack of reply (in your case). take it for what it is. You did a nice thing, and she knows it. How she deals with it on her end is her deal.

[pilot]

On a separate note, awesome job on taking flying lessons! I hope you stick with it. Flying is one of the greatest joys I have experienced outside of family.

[BigMac]

Thanks for the perspective Pilot. I'm still so early into this process (3 months since the downward spiral, and only 6 weeks into our official separation.

I keep getting anxious about school starting soon, and this hope that the love of my life will realize that both of us were depressed, and that made it so I wasn't able to be her rock for a while. But I am on my way back to being her rock now.

I know everyone says that Patience is necessary, and time is your friend.... I guess I need to look back at my journal and see how much I have grown in the past 6 weeks, and to look forward to how much I will grow in the next 6 weeks... and the endless 6 week periods after.

I'm doing more reading about codependancy and the MLC process for Women.

[Roid76]

I feel for you being early in the stich. I helped my W fix her internet the other day over the phone, and got a very good thank you. Like Pilot, a few weeks ago might have been a different story, in fact I doubt she even would have said anything to me about it. Don't read too much into it, just keep being the best you that is possible. Very cool on flying lessons, if I ever get enough cash together I would love to try. Last year I flew for the first time in a small 2 sweater and even held the stick for a small time, felt very good to be going over the ground at 5000 feet.

[BigMac]

Yeah, Flying is fun. My youth was full of aviation, the past 20 years however have been full of responsibility. Since my W gave me the gift of time, I'm using it to have my own little MLC and take care of my inner child. Flying is one of the things that my inner child wants to do, so it's done.

I've always done very well, worked really hard for my families money, and never spent it on myself. All of my resources were focused towards my W (very co-dependant behavior on my part).

So, now I get to spend a little bit on me.

[BigMac]

So, I've been doing more reading about MLC. My W is very obviously in one. We both lost lots of weight in 2011. She started buying new clothes, looking young and sexy. Got a new job in April, after moving to another city for school in Feb.

The six stages of MLC all were readily apparent. Including the anger stage when she got back from school.

The thing that gets stuck in the mix, is that she went cold turkey off anti-depressants and ADHD meds. Talking to my IC that can cause temporary insanity. I'm wondering if that's what tipped her further into the replay stage, then how will that effect the timelines of her coming out of it?

Also, had a hard hit this morning. I noticed that she had unfollowed me from twitter and foursquare. I have no clue when this happened, but it still hit me pretty hard.

[MrBond]

First off, your W is not in MLC. There are a number of triggers that set off an MLC and your W hasn't had any of them. It sounds more like her issue is with her latent depression.

[Roid76]

I would have to agree on the depression more than possible MLC. Could be a little mix, but going off the meds cold turkey is not good at all. I hope she can figure herself out and either get back on, at least understand her problems. It's hard to see that go on from our side of things, but still just not much we can do for them. I have tried to go cold turkey of depressants before and it was a terrible just few days. Try to have patients and faith in the best.

[CS000]

Going cold turkey off of antidepressants is not good at all and can be harmful. That is why a dr should slowly lower the dosage. That's my opinion and I hope your W gets help with her issues which she has to work on her own just like you have to do the same for yourself.