What to Do III

[Thornton]

Lots of mind reading brother.

You had a good date. Now sit back and let her think about it. I promise you she is.

Don't initiate anything for a little while.

[pilot]

^^^^^what he said.

Dang Thorn, you seem to beat me to all the posts!

[watto14]

yay for the date ben, and yes I with what the guys are saying, from a girls perspective, even if your w is a waw, she wouldn't have gone if she didn't think you guys had some kind of future, and to bring up moving to FL, that's huge, good luck, definitely following....

[PeterV2]

I think the coolness after the date is natural. She saw a different side of you on the date and opened up a bit. Now she's afraid the changes are just temporary and so she's pulling back to protect herself. You must just keep the detachment and being pleasant and fun to be around. Be Calm, Consistent and Constant. Over time she will get more comfortable with the new you. Just keep working on yourself. Keep looking at what drove a wedge between you and fix your part of it permanently. It may be hard to do but well worth it. If she doesn't come back, then there will be a better you for another lady to fall in love with.

[Ben2010]

So I havent posted in a bit. Its been a good week for me for the most part. I went to the lake this past Saturday with some friends and had a great time. It completely took my mind off of the sitch.

On my way home from the lake I get a random text from the wife, who hadnt texted or talked to me all week except a response text which I will get to in a bit. She sent me a picture of a yahoo answers type thing that says that a normal person passes gas 14 times a day. I responded back with "so youre saying that Im the unhealthy one?" She said "no just letting you know that Im healthy...fyi" This was brought up because I jokingly asked her "whats wrong with you" everytime she does that. That was the end of that convo.

The next morning I sent a picture to her of my chest and how badly it was burnt from the lake. It had a caption on it that said "Im also very healthy...fyi" She responded back with "Looks like a healthy glow." I laughed and let it go.

I went to my brothers house to hang out that night and we watched tv and ate some chinese food. Around 11 I decided to go home. As soon as I left she started texting me asking what I was doing and what I did that day. First time she has even asked anything like that since she left. We are on week 6 now. We started joking back and forth with each other and ended up texting for the next 2 hours like that. Was a great convo and felt like almost back to normal, maybe even better. I did end up letting her go saying "Alright well, Im gonna head off to bed have a good night." She responded with "Me too. Night. Love you." I said "Love you too."

Then the next day which was yesterday, I came to work to find her sending me emails immediately. She was sending me stuff like she used to. Was a picture of a lizard that her dad had vacuumed up and was still in the bag. We emailed for a bit the rest of the night with me telling her that it had probably crawled in her mouth while she was asleep and pooped in there. This was also the first time she has emailed me at work in the past month.

Previously in the week I had been texting her everyday "Good morning beautiful." She would always respond with "morning." Well on about the 4th day of that she didnt text me in the morning and I figured she was over it. Well she text me that night saying goodnight. I responded like she does and said "night." Then the next thing I know she is asking me why I keep texting her beautiful. I told her because thats what she is. She said I knew you were gonna say that. That I dont think that she is beautiful and that I never use that word. I told her that I have always thought that but made the mistake of not saying it. Then she responded with "well you have never said that to me except on our wedding day." I told her that was not true that I used to do that when we first started dating. She said that I didnt. I said "Ok, well I dont agree with that. However, that was just mistake on my part if I didnt." She said "Well thanks. Even though when you sent that I had makeup smeared all over my face." I just let it go at that. So everyday for about the past week or so I have been texting her this at the same time every morning. Same response almost always.

Not sure why she all of a sudden started texting me in general when I left my brother's house. It was kind of weird. Im not upset with it by any means and I tried to play it cool the whole time. Nothing has really changed other than me texting her that every morning. My brother's wife says that I broke down her wall and now she wants to talk. Im not sure Im ready to jump to that conclusion yet, but it did feel good. Anyone have any other ideas on this?

[Thornton]

Things are looking positive for you!

I think I would back off on the text initiating just a little bit, that might be your sweet spot.

She's definately thinking on things, don't spook her with too many "morning beautiful" texts. Let her miss you a little bit.

[Meghan]

I'm really new here, but I'd suggest keeping up with the playing it cool. It sounds like it's working for you, so keep on with it, and avoid jumping in too quickly with too much contact.

[Ben2010]

I agree they are looking up a bit. Im trying not to see it as to much right now. I dont want to be let down again. I dont know if its spooking her or not to be honest man. Im trying to be consistent and like you said, your W wanted to you chase her. Im not all out chasing her, just trying to let her know that shes important to me.

What do you mean about being the sweet spot?

[Thornton]

Sweet spot means the middle ground between texting too much and not enough.

Maybe text every other day. That way she gets the chance to miss you but also know you still care. Experiment and monitor your results. You might be able to identify a pattern when she seems more responsive.

[Ben2010]

I got ya. I think I can do that and see what happens. Maybe I was just happy that I was able to get some results at all here by doing it. Funny though I have not gotten a text or email from her all day today. I love the hot/cold cycle. It really will drive you insane if you let it. I did expect it this time though. So it isnt a big surprise. But thanks for the input Thorn. Your opinion is always appreciated.