WAW separation begins

[rayzzz]

Oh Goatgal! Thankyou for your bat-allegory! You had me at:

YOU. Are BATMAN.

I actually just took 2 batman graphic novels out of the library..its amazing you were able to speak to me with that. He's my fav superhero

Now You are right, I was actually pretty rattled for the last couple hours and just caught my breath. Gonna be cool calm collected.

You need to give her a wide berth until you understand her evil plot.
The catch here is: You might NEVER understand her motivations!

No matter what Poison Ivy does, Batman has to remain strong because he has the entire city of Metropolis to look after! It's all on his shoulders!

He can't let one babe in a crazy green costume throw him for a loop no matter how good looking and scintillating she might be!

Batman is working from a much bigger platform; one that involves the welfare of others, (as well as his own), his values, his entire reason for being.

again I am adapting and pulling back and yeah...I'm fracking Batman! I can't worry about retreating strategically... fighting for who I am changing to be...besides trying to get catwoman to change sides (ivy is hot but catwoman actually sleeps with Batman ;D )

But learning from his Ninja training in the Far East, (they left this out of the movie so I'm adding it here), Batman learns to DEFLECT.

To KILL with KINDNESS.
To take the high road.
To resist---passively--rather than actively.

He acts when he HAS to act to protect the greater good.
He does not act out of fear, or anger, revenge , or jealously.

Eventually his tactics will weary an opponent over time, rather than in one short battle.

This is so hard deflection/detachment-no expectations, kindness, not freak out of my reactive emotions: fear, anger, jealousy...i am sure i will improve in dbing but you sure break alot of bones doing db! but I know....three months is barely a blip in this battle...

But I am digging the ninja training (incidentally you are bang on..Batman was trained by League of Shadows which were super ninjas...you may have a career in comicbook writing

Time is your friend.

Pick your battles.
Bend like the willow while holding your roots fast.

Everyone who knows trees knows you can never kill a Willow.
They just come back from their roots once you cut them to the ground.


How helpful this might be for you is anybody's guess.

yes again. This bending/being flexible and letting time have its way is so excruciatingly hard isnt it?

You have succeeded in both entertaining me and counseling me GG! I really needed to hear this. I mean really really!

I am VERY grateful for you Wonderwoman, yeah! and my DB "Alfred" (Arthur works too ;D ) as this LBS community is just so life giving after the beating we get with our WAS
ok so like Christian Bale I will go forward (sorry but Clooney should have never worn the cowl)with a healed back and save my city...er...myself and then hopefully the marriage.

[rayzzz]

So got dragged into a R talk ....I know don't do it but I was cornered.
So WAW hates me, hates coming home to see me ( I move on Friday )
So if I go Dark she needs that right? So it's a double 180?
Leave her alone to hate her feelings out right?

[GoatGal]

Glad I could be of service.
We must have been on the same wavelength!

Use whatever silliness works for you. After all, who is gonna know?

I was almost embarrassed sharing that crazy method, but it WORKS!

For me, it's "Wonder Woman".
(Doesn't hurt that H always had a big crush on her as a boy. I wonder what she'd say about his antics now? He'd have to run and hide under a rock....)

My "Wonder Woman": AKA Dancing Queen of the Goats:
I put my hands on my hips, take a deep breath, and BLOW his sh*t clear across the country..


But no, I don't spin around.
Spinning makes me dizzy.

---GG

[rayzzz]

So got dragged into a R talk ....I know don't do it but I was cornered.
So WAW hates me, hates coming home to see me ( I move on Friday )
So if I go Dark she needs that right? So it's a double 180?
Leave her alone to hate her feelings out right?
_________________________

[Thornton]

Yep, leave her alone. Don't get sucked into R talks. If she insists, just listen and validate her.

[rayzzz]

Yep, leave her alone. Don't get sucked into R talks. If she insists, just listen and validate her.

Thanks Thornton. Gonna make sure this week is chalkful of GALing but I know this is when we all fall apart and my kids get a new p/t Dad and mom as they realize its happening (move in four days).... It will be bittersweet to leave but i think the R will finally hit midnight black once we are physically separated. ugh.
Gonna beat those R talks down then. Going to go stab my heart with a big knife of detaching for the next hour or so too...cant believe how much I love this woman....ugh. Detach. ow

[Thornton]

Yep, it's gonna sting. But it will give her a chance to be alone with her thoughts. Make sure you separate on a good note, that will be the last impression she has of you.

When my WAW left, the next day she had to come get some things. I happily helped her pack her car (I was absolutely gutted inside). I held it together until she left. But I know I left a good impression on her.

I certainly wasn't going to make it easy on her by acting crazy, or desperate or angry. That's what she wanted so she could leave absolutely certain she had made the right call.

Just keep cool and calm. If you are going to break down, do not let her see it. Hold it together no matter how bad you feel.

If I can do it, you can do it.

[rayzzz]

Yep, it's gonna sting. But it will give her a chance to be alone with her thoughts. Make sure you separate on a good note, that will be the last impression she has of you.

Thanks Thornton. I was actually thinking of unearthing my bridegroom tuxedo as I packed this week but maybe that is a little TOO needy. lol . DML (Detach My Life)

Well its been a weird couple hours...wife is coming back with boxes and yeah I am practicing holding it together in front of my kids. I did just buy my D8 an ipad mini so she is excited to "FaceTime you all the time from Grama and Grampas!". Yipee.
But I guess I could be on the road to divorce in 1985 and only have those brick cell phones to contend with.
For GAL today I am going out to see an old friend who is a professional painter and see his home studio gallery, then hoping gym and looking into disc golf ( yeah I know I just started ultimate frisbee and figure stay in the 'frisbee GAL' sports category)
I have been doing other brainstorming though and I think I am going to take a wood working class so I can build stuff from scratch. Not something I am terribly good at but it may be a hell of a confidence builder if I can say "hey look I build that armoire i made"

[Thornton]

Good job Rayzzz!

Just hold it together for now! Cool, calm and collect. Easy it does it!

[rayzzz]

Thanks Thornton,

Upon further reflection I have set some 180 goals for this week:
to do this lovingly, quietly and confidently.

The old me would have freaked out and either been angry, stressed out, bitter or begging, crying, pleading, shaming and manipulating. I would have liked nothing better than to make my WAW's life hell and let her pay for this.

But the truth is? I like the new me. Its only been in existence for two months...and is still forming but I have learned I have a lot more control over my feelings and I have learned from this db community that you can rise above your carnal reactive nature and operate from a more satisfying healthier place.

Case in point, WAW came home with empty boxes totally stressed out and barked at me that I wasn't letting her know what was going into what box..blah blah.

I took a deep breath...sat down and instead of dragging her into a fight calmly said in a quiet voice" ok I understand its alot, I need to go out to my meeting but lets talk and sort this out "

pretty amazed at myself. So now just another four days to go but I feel calmer having these goals.