Like a moth to flame

[Thornton]

Thanks for the encouragement TO and Ben.

I don't feel like I'm making much progress. NC makes me feel like WAW is just getting over me and establishing her new life without me.

I know there's nothing I can do about that, but it still hurts like hell.

Patience has been really hard for me but I'm bound and determined to not make any mistakes. I do everything I can to follow the vets advice. I feel like I'm living on blind faith.

[Ben2010]

Well, I feel your pain. You have been at this a bit longer than me, but you give me hope that I might be able to make it that long too.

Youre making progress either way it goes. Youre getting stronger and more confident everyday. You just recently got a text from her too. So thats a start. I know how you feel about thinking that she is just getting over you while you suffer. I have to have people help me with this too. You know the other day my W came over to talk to me and she was crying already. That shows me that she is not out living it up like I thought and not thinking about me. Im sure yours is the same way.

You arent living on blind faith. You have made the best possible choice that you can make with the information that you have been given. Keep it up man. Youre an inspiration.

[CS000]

I agree with Ben2010. You are definitely doing good and just keep going! This is a difficult journey but you seem to be using it to your advantage. I'm rooting for you!

[Thornton]

Just received another text.

WAW: Happy Father's Day
WAW: I hope you have a great day Thornton!
Me: Thank you Give (her daughter) a hug and kiss for me
WAW: I will Tell your dad Happy Fathers Day too
WAW: OH! My brother and his gf had their baby yesterday!
Me: Tell them congrats! Happy for them
WAW: Thank you
WAW: Are you doing good?
Me: Keeping busy! My dad said thank for thinking of him . You?
WAW: Truth??? Im ok. Ive been doing good things for me and D, but I have very strong moments of sadness. Its just weird that's all. Im hanging in there
Me: Glad you are doing things with D. You are a strong person WAH, you're strong than you think
WAW: You seen perfectly fine, has this been easy for you?
Me: Easy? No. I didn't want this WAH but I don't have any other option than to respect your decision. I want you to be happy.
WAW: I'm sorry, I didn't mean that in an accusing way. Like I said, I didn't want this to be angry. I didn't want it this way either. Im feeling too much right now... Im sorry.
Me: Don't apologize, I understand.


Thoughts????

[Wonka]

Thorn,

Well done. Although I would be careful to say "I understand" because you don't at all. One cannot ever truly understand how the other person feels. Could use empathetic words such as "I can only imagine how you're feeling. Take care"

Good job!

[Thornton]

Thanks, Wonka.

This is the 2nd text I've gotten from her in less than a week after a month on NC.

I'm hopeful that she is starting to question her decision. She certainly doesn't seem like she's happy without me.

Do I continue to let her reach out to me? Is there ever a point where I initiate something with her?

[Thornton]

Can I get a vet to chime in?

Thanks!

[claire7]

Thornton, I have the same question!

One possibility (and I am NOT a vet so take it with a grain of salt), is to continue to be patient.. and then if things continue to move in a positive direction, experiment (with no real expectation). If she responds positively, try again in a bit, baby steps. If she responds neutrally, give it some time before trying again. If she responds negatively, pull back.

I've seen advice cautioning us against taking a small positive step too far and pushing them away because we are overeager.

[labug]

Do nothing. You're reading a lot of what you want to see in her text.

She may be unhappy but you don't know why. She may be having second thoughts but you don't know why.

It's Father's Day, she's feeling emotion right then, it will pass or not.

Let her figure out her stuff.

You keep working on you.

[Thornton]

Thanks, labug.

I'll keep chuggin' along.