I didn't respond and she didn't bring it back up when I got home from work.
If I does come up face to face, I would say, "I will be fine, but I'm sad for what our S is going to go through." Thoughts??
W moods swing from happy to upset out of nowhere. I think she needed me to sooth her guilt about filing last week. That's on her and she needs to deal with it on her own.
Me: 55, W: 46 T: 17 M: 15 S: 10 3 S prev M 25 23 21 Unhappy 10/12 Asked to move out 1/14 NILWY 2/14 Sep rooms: 1/14 BD 3/14 W filed 5/14 Trial 12/14
I don't know if I'd bring up the kid. It would seem that you're making her feel guilty. I suppose you could share with her some of your pain as a person that you're going through. Don't come across as somebody who's helpless, but show her that you are human and it does hurt. It's ok to have feelings.
I retained a L and look forward to the future - whatever that may bring. I am happy with the time she has given me to work on myself and if she continues the D all the way to the end - I will be fine. My heart aches for what our S is going to go through. I can only continue to be the best dad I can be for him.
We go to mediation next Wednesday and she wants full custody and I want as close to 50/50 as possible with my work schedule. I'm not hopeful we can come to any agreement so it will be left up to the court. I am hopeful I can get more than every other weekend with our S. He needs me in his life like I've always been and I want him in mine. God I pray this goes well. I will be a wreck if they give her full custody. I've been through this once before and had joint custody with 3 boys from previous M. They are now productive adults and living on their own. Hope that helps...
This could get ugly, but I won't give in on custody just to keep the peace. I don't think W has thought D through financially. I have to just continue to let her go and take this journey. Up to this point I have continued to support her and have continued to deposit my checks into our joint account and that may be ending soon. That may shake her reality/fantasy.
We are still living in the same home and I am either working or doing things with our S. S and I are going to the lake house for Friday thru Sunday. It will be nice to get away from the craziness. Last weekend W came to the lake while we were there and posted pictures of us on Facebook out on the boat looking like a happy family but still pushing forward with D. People tell me how happy we look from the post - God if they only knew.
W has not said anything to her mom about D - I'm sure she will be very upset as MIL and I have always been close. But I do understand blood is thicker than water and I'm not about to break the news. I just find it strange since this is what W wants.
Any advice for the mediation next week other than showing them I've always been there for him and continue to foster a good relationship between him and W. I would be willing to pay additional support if it's the money she needs if she would be willing to give me more time with S. Not sure if I should put that out there yet or not. Probably a question for L but any insight for someone who's been there would be great!
I'm still standing but some days are harder than others and probably some harder ones yet to come.
Thanks for all the support I have received up to this point! We will get through this stronger and hopefully smarter.
Me: 55, W: 46 T: 17 M: 15 S: 10 3 S prev M 25 23 21 Unhappy 10/12 Asked to move out 1/14 NILWY 2/14 Sep rooms: 1/14 BD 3/14 W filed 5/14 Trial 12/14
The last ten days have been crazy. A week ago Wednesday W says I can't do this to son, lets work on R. Two days later when camping at a father / son outing she moves my things to our other house. She filed D back in May. We've went to mediation and had temp spousal / child support order set for when I leave M home. Had her L sent me a letter saying I am in contempt of court because I froze our overdraft acct tied to our checking acct and needed to deposit X amount of money into our checking acct. L may have been surprised when she saw that I had already deposited more money then she had requested in her letter. W says if I will move out and give her some space she will stop the D. We talk about me moving to the lake and decide is time to tell S10 about what is going on. I was doing so well detaching and GAL then I jump right back on the roller coaster with her. Tell her I will move out but there is no need to stop the D at this point, maybe just slow the process down and see how we feel after separation.
God knows how painful it was/is telling our son about it tonight. He/we must have cried for an hour. How can a mother continue down this road when they see the pain they are causing. MCL must dull any emotions.
I don't know if I should still plan on leaving and giving us both some breathing room or tell her I can't do it after seeing how much pain I/we are causing and if she need space she needs to go. I feel if I do we need something in writing so I don't get screwed if she does want D. Some days I start to wonder if that's not what I want too.
I wonder if I just screwed this DB thing up but son deserved to know something. W has been sleeping upstairs with me in master since January. I thought he knew something was up but now maybe not because it hit him like a ton of bricks.
My head is just spinning now. W is going to the Dr to see about AD then to a counseling appt. I wonder if I go and the meds kick in about the same time then maybe think it was me all along causing her sadness. Has told me of OM that lives 1500 miles away but she is planning a vacation mid August with S and think she may see him. Am I down to LRT? Should I move and go dark but will still see her when we swap son.
I need to get off this crazy train and watch it from the station.
Support and suggestions would be great about now. Thanks for everything!
Me: 55, W: 46 T: 17 M: 15 S: 10 3 S prev M 25 23 21 Unhappy 10/12 Asked to move out 1/14 NILWY 2/14 Sep rooms: 1/14 BD 3/14 W filed 5/14 Trial 12/14
