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Hey CW..

Sorry it took so long to get back....

Finger is healing somewhat...lol

As I was reading this, I was just shaking my head at it.

The absurdity of it all, what it means, if anything, in the grand scheme of his MLC.

I would venture to say that he felt somewhat proud of himself because the guy was younger, and a Marine, and he laid the smack down on him.

Hell, any MLC guy would surely get a kick out of not feeling too old to do that. Right ? Makes them "young" again...

Any old guy would feel the same way...MLC or not.

But did HE really feel that way ?

New behavior ? More MLC behavior ???

Has he always stood on that ledge ?

Talked a good game with no action ??

Felt a little Froggy yet never leaped ??

Was he ever like that in his younger days ?

Older brothers that used to beat the crap out of him ???

What, in his past, could have triggered any of this ???


I dunno...

I know that you see him as moving through this once again, and maybe he is moving through this STILL, and he still has some pretty deep demons to fight off (other than this dude).

I think, and what I would suggest is....

Pull up the Mama Bear suit a bit, and protect the kiddos as much as you can...NO ROOM FOR ERROR on that one....

Other than that, I would say to stay your course. Nothing has changed within him, and even if it has changed because of this, you won't know anything for quite a while.

So is it his bottom ???

It COULD be, and it may not be....

How's that for a definite maybe ????

: )


In the meantime...Let me ask you this, cause I'm really not sure about it...

What do YOU want now in your life ???

What do you need in your life to be happy, and successful ???

What are you working toward ???

You sound really well grounded since the second wave has hit..

I just haven't seen you really answer that (not that anyone asked, just wondering)

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Eric...yep!!!:)


Hi Mach! I am glad to hear your finger is healing...somewhat smile

"What do YOU want now in your life ???
What do you need in your life to be happy, and successful ???
What are you working toward ???
You sound really well grounded since the second wave has hit..
I just haven't seen you really answer that (not that anyone asked, just wondering)"

Great questions Mach!

This latest situation with H has really made me think...I am tired of all this...there is a good, decent H in there somewhere...I just haven't seen that one for a very long time.

What I am doing now to move forward is seeing an IC to heal ME and reconcile things that happened to me in my past so that I can be a better, stronger CW. To lose the "fear" that I have hid behind my whole life. Once I get a get a little bit of a handle on that, I think the answers to the rest of the questions will reveal themselves.

Seriously, I was content with just getting by, just having enough. TBH, I cannot answer those other questions... yet...


As for H...

"I would venture to say that he felt somewhat proud of himself because the guy was younger, and a Marine, and he laid the smack down on him."

Yeah...but in the light of day..that young, Marine was falling down drunk...not much to feel proud of there.

This newest situation with H has made detachment a whole lot easier for me.


BD-Aug 2009
OW Confirmed
H moves out Dec 2009
D filed by H-Mar 2010
H asks to come home April 2011
BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW!
H ran away again! 1-18-2014
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Originally Posted By: courageouswife

As for H...

"I would venture to say that he felt somewhat proud of himself because the guy was younger, and a Marine, and he laid the smack down on him."

Yeah...but in the light of day..that young, Marine was falling down drunk...not much to feel proud of there.

This newest situation with H has made detachment a whole lot easier for me.



Shhhhh !!!

You know that details don't matter much with a MLCer's pride..

I'm sure that the story in his head, is much better...

: )

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Quote:
from Mach....Finger is healing somewhat

Now exactly how did that finger get damaged? smile


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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Originally Posted By: ericmsant2
Quote:
from Mach....Finger is healing somewhat

Now exactly how did that finger get damaged? smile


I am sensing that there is a good story behind the damaged finger? smile


Have to add a PS to the latest H MLC saga...

DIL said that H told his co-workers that he was confronted by a group of hispanics and that he fought them off and beat one of them pretty badly. (DIL's father works at the same packing plant as H.) The plant is 50mi away from where H is living and in a different county. I guess beating up a drunken 34yr old ex Marine wasn't good enough for his MLC ego...


BD-Aug 2009
OW Confirmed
H moves out Dec 2009
D filed by H-Mar 2010
H asks to come home April 2011
BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW!
H ran away again! 1-18-2014
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CW

Quote:
DIL said that H told his co-workers that he was confronted by a group of hispanics and that he fought them off and beat one of them pretty badly.

On suggestion….maybe it is time to tell DIL and anyone else that you really would prefer not to hear or even discuss H – at least for now. I say this because….

Quote:
I am tired of all this


Quote:
What I am doing now to move forward is seeing an IC to heal ME


Of this ^^^ if you are tired and trying to heal, you may want to consider stepping away from any news or discussion about H.


Quote:
This newest situation with H has made detachment a whole lot easier for me.

Then this ^^^^ becomes even easier.

Just sayin…


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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I think that a cat scratched me....

Not sure though...but that is what it looks like...



Quote:
DIL said that H told his co-workers that he was confronted by a group of hispanics and that he fought them off and beat one of them pretty badly. (DIL's father works at the same packing plant as H.) The plant is 50mi away from where H is living and in a different county. I guess beating up a drunken 34yr old ex Marine wasn't good enough for his MLC ego



Must have been a hell of a story (in his mind)

Like I said yesterday....

Bravado...even if it is fake

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Originally Posted By: ericmsant2

Of this ^^^ if you are tired and trying to heal, you may want to consider stepping away from any news or discussion about H.


That would be a wise thing to do...thanks Eric

Mach...might have to get that cat declawed!:)


Looking forward to my visit with the IC today! She has me reading a book on boudaries...can't wait to discuss!


BD-Aug 2009
OW Confirmed
H moves out Dec 2009
D filed by H-Mar 2010
H asks to come home April 2011
BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW!
H ran away again! 1-18-2014
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Wanted to say hi and see how you're doing courageouswife....


Me - 42
exH - 56
Married 10.5 years
Together 17
bomb dropped 1/6/14
signed papers 2/4/14
H moved out 2/22/14
D final 4/4/14
Dropped the rope 5/17/14
2 cats, 2 dogs
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Hi guys..just a quick update...H is making a lot of " about "noise" about wanting to come home...mostly lip service so far...

H did come to help with cleaning up the yard Sunday. He and S hung in the garage for awhile and then came in the house and watched the end of a movie D and I were watching. Texted later that it was hard to talk when the kids were around.

I assume when he is truly ready to "talk" that he will quit finding excuses to not talk.

His pre-trial date for the 3rd degree assault charge is May 15th.

S graduates May 18th! Gonna be a crazy few days!


BD-Aug 2009
OW Confirmed
H moves out Dec 2009
D filed by H-Mar 2010
H asks to come home April 2011
BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW!
H ran away again! 1-18-2014
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