I would move to our lake house once we have a legal seperation. She would get the M house and I would keep my 401k and get the lake house. Split up everything 50/50 including custody. She wants me to have S every other weekend and I'm not willing to be a weekend dad.
I will not leave until we get everything through the court.
It's very difficult living this way in the same house and maybe some space will do us both some good.
I'm just having a tough time with this but I think maybe it's time to do something. I keep busy but want home to be a safe harbor, a place to get away from life's storms. It's not that we fight, there is nothing from W.
L thinks I may need to get a home closer to S school by fall. M home is about 20 min away and lake house is about 40 min - thought that court may think that's to far.
We've been living together like this since 10/12 but got colder around 1/14
If she's done like she says I just wish she would file for D.
Should I say anything to W or just file for legal seperation or just keep living like I am?
Me: 55, W: 46 T: 17 M: 15 S: 10 3 S prev M 25 23 21 Unhappy 10/12 Asked to move out 1/14 NILWY 2/14 Sep rooms: 1/14 BD 3/14 W filed 5/14 Trial 12/14
You have to do what you feel is best. But if you decide to S, I think you need to have everything secure before telling her. It's not to be mean, but for your protection. She may take it well, since you are giving her the home and half of everything, but you never can tell how a WAW will react to not getting 100% of what they feel they are ENTITLED to have......especially the kids. Since she seem determined you would not share son 50/50, she may decide to fight it. So, let her bring it on. But I would not give her a heads-up.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
The bomb has dropped - W told me I needed to go to her L office to sign papers or have them sent to mine. Still living in the same house, so this could get interesting. She is unwilling to agree to 50/50 custody with S. The stuff we should be able to figure out.
W has been done for some time.
Any advice other than seeing a L and continue DBing?
Me: 55, W: 46 T: 17 M: 15 S: 10 3 S prev M 25 23 21 Unhappy 10/12 Asked to move out 1/14 NILWY 2/14 Sep rooms: 1/14 BD 3/14 W filed 5/14 Trial 12/14
Cnfused, sorry that it has come to this. Haven't completely caught up on your situation yet but trying to offer a little support. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
No great advice on how to respond except to look within and respond with what you know is right.
IMO, I would suggest STFU as the course of action. There is no need to really respond to the text. And however you respond will be interpreted however she would like anyway.
Stay strong!
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
I've gotten that message before as well. Don't respond. It's just a moment of weakness for her and she might be trying to manipulate you in some way. Don't take the bait.
