Upwards - Needing support, tough times ahead

[Upwards]

Fab day today with the kids, we've had so much fun!! really enjoying life at the moment, still have a lot of sadness but its nowhere near as intense or overwhelming as it was. I'm excited about the future & what it may bring

I spoke to H last night (he had the kids overnight) and it sounds like he's been doing a LOT of self reflections & looking at the things he's done and how he's behaved. He said he feels like "he's just woken up to the devastation that he's caused" and "doesn't recognise or like who he's become".

He said whilst we've been NC its forced him to face up to a lot of emotions & feelings he's been running away from (his feelings for me mainly, him being unhappy away from home etc) and he's done a lot of growing - he's realised just how much he has missed me & his family but he's been too scared to admit it until now, he said he's realised that he's making a mistake but he just needs to keep going & figure things out.

He seems very down & depressed, its hard to see but I know its all part of the process. I need to remain very dark/ low contact to give him the space he needs to continue his growth as well as to protect myself and continue on the path i'm on.

Patience isnt my strong point but i'm getting better....

[Upwards]

I practised my validation & listening, also responding instead of reacting - getting better

[claire7]

Sounds terrific! Keep up the great work! !

[Upwards]

Thanks Claire, nothing has changed really he's just moved forwards slightly I think - words are cheap though, it's actions I want to see & he's not anywhere near ready for that yet, he's moving that way though.

[JennD]

Sounds like you are on the right path! You kept it together when maybe a few months ago, you would have been all over any sign of R.

And you have a PMA - yes, sadness still there but able to more than function and enjoy your life.

Fingers crossed that your H is also on the right path!

Yay Upwards! You're doing well!

[ForeverYoung]

Patience my dear. You can do this!

[Upwards]

I know I can FY I've got this, slow & steady wins the race!

[Upwards]

Forgot to mention that H suggested we pack up & move to Australia and start again LOL!! It's completely insane although I suppose it shows he must be thinking of how we could move forwards which is positive!

He's had some crazy suggestions but moving to Australia isn't one I expected haha!

[Barrybran]

Nice place, Up :p

[Ggrass]

Yes, ill second that! Seen a fair bit of my own country