Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 659
U
Member
Offline
Member
U
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 659
Also, you shouldn't live your life by what your W might think. She's likely gonna think bad things right now anyway. So just pay the bills in the best order you can -- food, home, lights, etc. first and then the rest. Hang in there, Ye. You are one of my favorites. Love your quote about the Sun and the Earth. smile

Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
Y
ye21 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
Y
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
Aysssss thank you so much Unbiden!!! What a gift to have persons like you in this process!! Thank you for bringing me back to reality wink


When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
Y
ye21 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
Y
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
Definetly time for a kickass song to bring me back

Never too late by Jimi Jamison

YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES
TO MAKE EVERYTHING COME TRUE
THE WORLD IS THERE FOR YOU
JUST CARRY ON YOU GET WHAT
YOU GIVE ONE DAY IT WILL COME BACK
AND FALL INTO YOUR LAP
ITS NOTHING NEW IT WILL BE TOUGH BUT DON'T GIVE UP
EVEN IF ITS HURTING
CAN TAKE YOU YEARS
WILL COST YOU TEARS
BUT ITS WORTH IT IN THE END

Never too late - never too late to start
So keep on dreaming
Never too late, never too late to start
Love will find it's way it will find you
So hold on to your faith
Never too late to start

DON'T COMPROMISE
YOU KNOW WHATS RIGHT FOR
YOU YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO
JUST CARRY ON
SOME/TIMES OUT OF SIGHT
ANOTHER UPHILL CLIMB
PLAYING WITH YOUR MIND
CONFUSING YOU
DON'T YA KNOW THAT

Chorus:

WITH EVERY DREAM
COMES A BROKEN HEART
IT CAN BRING YA DOWN TO YOUR KNEES
TEAR YOU APART

PICK YOURSELF UP
AND SHOW EM WHO YOU ARE
DON'T LET NOTHIN GET IN UR WAY
AND UR GONNA TAKE IT FAR

Don't ya know that….
It will be tough - But don't give up
Even if it's hurting
Can take you years - Will cost you tears
But it's worth it in the end

NEVER TOO LATE, NEVER TOO LATE TO START
NEVER TOO LATE, NEVER TOO LATE TO START
SO JUST KEEP ON DREAMIN
NEVER TOO LATE, NEVER TOO LATE TO START
OH….. YEAH

LOVE WILL FIND ITS WAY
IT WILL FIND YOU
SO HOLD ON TO UR FAITH
NEVER TOO LATE TO START
NEVER TOO LATE TO START

SO HOLD ON TO YOUR FAITH
JUST KEEP ON DREAMIN
NEVER TOO LATE TO START


When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
Y
ye21 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
Y
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
I have a question for vets with WAW like MrBond or for WAW like Sandi2 ,this is a specific question, while they were gone and if they had no contact at all, not even email, how did you do to keep motivated that it wasnt over yet? I had a couple of hard days thinking about this.... I know I have to focus on myself as well but I dont know if I am supposed to give up any hope and thts the way to go or what....

The way things ended it made seem that she is completelly done...


When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
I never had total "no contact" with my W. We had young kids so I had to stay in contact with her. For the times that she wasn't around, I got myself emotionally, intellectually, physically and spiritually strong. Look up Joe Beam and you'll see what I mean. The techniques work well hand in hand with Divorce Busting.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
Y
ye21 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
Y
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
I never had total "no contact" with my W. We had young kids so I had to stay in contact with her. For the times that she wasn't around, I got myself emotionally, intellectually, physically and spiritually strong. Look up Joe Beam and you'll see what I mean. The techniques work well hand in hand with Divorce Busting.


Ill check that. Thank you
Thats where I loose my motivation, she really has no reason at all for contacting me, so thats makes all this proccess a little subrealistic from my side, I mean her family doesnt talk to me at all, we both live in Manhattan and we have no more friends in common so the possibities of seeing each other are way too remote...


When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
But see motivation comes from within. Not from the outside. That's why the goals in DBing are important.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
Y
ye21 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
Y
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
But see motivation comes from within. Not from the outside. That's why the goals in DBing are important.

Yes, I will have to reread DB and set my goals, untill not totally D I believe hope still there. Thanks Bond


When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,132
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,132
Originally Posted By: Ye
It brings me back to the point in my head that keeps telling me: if you dont pay all this debts right away she will see no changes and sent you the D papers...
So thats my path I keep believing that I will be punished for not doing things "right" and I start to freak out and get in the fear mood...

Still living in FEAR I see…


Ye

What are you really afraid of? I’ll do a little mind reading here in the hopes that maybe it helps….


1) Are you afraid she is gonna leave? She’s already done that. Guess what. YOU SURVIVED it!
2) Are you afraid that you will not be able to take care of yourself? You seem to be managing. Bills are getting paid – even if they are late…they are still getting paid!
3) Are you afraid that she will “never” come back? I’m gonna touch on “never” in a bit… If you continue to focus on HER then this fear will never go away. Let me ask you a question…. Do you fear that you may not wake up in the morning? Do you fear that crossing the street in NYC that you will get hit by a bus, by a car? Do you fear that an earthquake will hit the city you live in? If any of these apply – then WHAT can you really do to face the fear? IMO, NOTHING. So let it go.

Originally Posted By: Ye
I know I have to focus on myself as well but I dont know if I am supposed to give up any hope and thts the way to go or what....

What is hope YE? What does hope mean to YOU?

I hope that tomorrow will be sunny.

Does the fact that it is raining TODAY….change my HOPE for tomorrow?


Originally Posted By: Ye
The way things ended it made seem that she is completelly done...

IMO, one of the biggest mistakes we make is to THINK and FEEL like things or sitch are “FOREVER” or will “NEVER” happen. It is flawed thinking.

Do you know what tomorrow brings?

Do you think the person that won the last powerball thought “NEVER”

Stop thinking in absolute terms. Stop thinking that where YOU are today is where YOU will be tomorrow. No one knows.

Your W could wake up tomorrow and say…..”WTF am I doing – I love Ye”. No one knows.

Train YOUR mind to LIVE in the MOMENT. Train YOUR mind to NOT predict the future. Live for today.

No one here can make YOU have HOPE. That is something that has to come from inside YOU.


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
Y
ye21 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
Y
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 634
What is hope YE? What does hope mean to YOU?

I hope that tomorrow will be sunny.

Does the fact that it is raining TODAY….change my HOPE for tomorrow?

Very true Eric, thanks for that!

You seem to always ask me the questions in the proper time hehehe

This is my fear and this is what freezes me sometimes most of the times:

I am affraid to fail, when I was with her I was always affraid and scared to fail, so when I lost jobs and couldnt make tons of money I was stressed out, I was affraid of how it was gonna affect me to see her kissing other guy in her play so I couldnt go because of that, my daily basis its been always affraid to do a mistake, for me my life have to had no mistakes so when she left me for mistakes that today I realize they werent so big I tend to feel dissapointed of myself, I underestand people does mistakes, she might even has done a mistake not being able to forgive me for those mistakes I did...I am not able yet to forgive those mistakes even if I realize that they were things I could not control... I mean no excuses, I did not went to her play, I didnt made enough money, but strikes me a lot the fact that I was hold to such a big standars in her eyes, I have always the feeling that I am hold by everybody to big standards and thise are really big for me depends of the time, so thats one of the reasons I cant move on in general, I am always walking over egg shells affraid I will do a mistake and pay consequences frown I need help with that and the problem is that I dont know where to start....because I am affraid of failing and take the wrong step ;(


When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Page 2 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard