You absolutely right. I got too involved in her relationship with OM and she's using that to push me around and toying with my head. I know this things, but honestly don't know why I fall into her trap when she calls. I guess she sees my weakness and taking advantage of the whole situation. No more calls.
I'm ready to finally turned the corner today. I've done everything wrong in the past couple of weeks. I allow my emotions to get the best of me. I am ready to get my life back and find happiness in the things that I can control. I'm working on a 2 month plan to work on me and focus on my daughter. I planned on going to Disney land with my daughter next month. I bet that will be fun since am a big kid myself. I'm also reconsidering traveling to Uk for a friend wedding. W and I planned on going together 4month ago, but life goes on. I'll probably take my daughter with me.
I will focus on me and stop trying to change my W and her affair. Sweet talk and making her feel guilty is clearly not working. Getting angry does nothing but stopped my progress and hard work. I'm ready now to become the man I used to be. I'm ready to do everything possible to avoid her insult and small talk about nothing. The number one thing on my agenda is going back to work. I've to appeal my case with or without her. I will made it a most to read sandi2 rule before talking to her on the phone. I'm fully committed and ready now to start this journey.
"I guess she sees my weakness and taking advantage of the whole situation."
Mindreading. You don't know why she's doing what she's doing and she probably doesn't either. Just continue to concentrate on yourself.
"I will made it a most to read sandi2 rule before talking to her on the phone."
Did you ever read DB/DR? Those are the DB rules. You've gotten to the place where you can actually let the DB rules apply. Keep your positive changes going.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Apology will take months, probably yrs. that's if you get one. No one is thinking rational in this stage. Lust and novelty are both strongly addictive. I've decided to work on me and focus on my daughter. I think you're doing a fantastic job with what I red in your post. Keep up with the good work.
Reading is one thing. How much have you APPLIED? Your anger stopped you from doing anything positive. Follow the steps in the book and start living again. Write down your goals to change things into a positive.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thank you so much mr bond. Today is new day and a new beginning for me. I'll focus on me and my daughter. I'll try and follow all the steps in the book and turn my negative energy to positive.
I think I should share my last conversation with w with you guys. This was before my complete turn around this morning. We had this conversation last night. She made it very clear that she doesn't want us anymore. She said our marriage is over and she's not going back to it. She also want me not to call/text her anymore. She told me she got a new man now and will like to focus on there new relationship. She told me she will be filling for divorce when she have enough money saved. She said no going back to us with or without OM. I didn't say much throughout her entire conversation. No apology or remorse for what she did. She told me to take care of myself and she hang up. I honestly don't know what to make of this. She told me she just finished talking to OM before calling me.
"I think I should share my last conversation with w with you guys."
Why? You said you read the book right? If you did, then you would know that the majority of WAS's say this. My W told me that for 3 years before things turned around. You're still letting your thoughts of your W get to you. Concentrate on yourself. When she says stuff like that, tell her, "Fine" and then end the conversation. When she calls you back, don't answer. Just live your life.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
As MrBond says...You ARE still letting the wife affect your actions. We have all heard those lines, so nothing surprising. Now if you changed your thinking....a more growth filled statement would be....This is what my wife said and I want your opinions on how to respond.
Hence, from us you would get;
In response to the wife stating things are done;
"I am sorry to hear that you feel this way. I will also respect your position that the marriage is over"
FYI- IT is over....Even if you reconcile, the marriage of old won't be there any more, nor should you want it.
As for no calling;
"I respect that you no longer wish to converse me and want calls/texts to end. I will grant your wish about not talking with you, but I do want to talk with my daughter regularly. So in the future, I will call at a prescribed time to talk with her. No need for you to answer, because I am calling to talk with (insert daughters name)and you can just give her the phone."
As you have limited means of communication with your daughter (most going right through your wife) I have a suggestion. I hope others share their thoughts on what I propose. What if you get your daughter her own phone? Set the phone up so it can only receive/call to your number.....hence the young girl can't be getting into phone troubles. You will have access to each other without going through your wife. Just a thought.
