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Wonka - Interesting thread. Thank you for sharing your journey.


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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Quote:
So, does he feel abandoned by US?

Am I abandoning him if I move on with my life? If the girls and I move forward and enjoy life, I feel guilty. He is in pain.

But, he has a choice. Doesn't he? I've made it clear I would stand by him if he went for help.
What was it you can do about his feelings, exactly?

You are struggling with that, I know, but you did not abandon him. He freely chose his path.

Guilt? I can understand feeling sorry for him, but guilt? They are your feelings, but I can't see how that works. Not really appropriate in my mind.

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Busting: Whoops-a! I missed your question.

When you started to become more lucid, is that when you started to learn about MLC? When did you know that you went through a MLC?

I learned about MLC right here in DivorceBusting threads. At first, I was in the Newcomers pool busy trying to DB Ms. Wonka. A few months later, I started to look in the MLC forums and I noticed that some of the stories shared were what I experienced myself as a former MLCer. A light bulb moment for me! Bingo! There's a name for what I went through: MLC. Surprised the heck out of me. You see..I thought the old MLC cliche applied only to old, balding men wanting to drive red Ferraris and bed 20-somethings to re-live their lost youth. crazy

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Thank you Wonka for the response! In follow-up, if I may, have you tried or thought about explaining MLC to Ms Wonka?


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
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Not to perpetuate the stereotype, but I can't help but mention my dad.

Dad left mom for his much younger secretary (she's ten years older than me).

His hair was thinning.

He has had the latest Ferrari in his garage ever since.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Sadly, he doesn't see the connection. He IS the stereotype and he still insists his leaving was the best for EVERYONE. Ugh.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Hey Wonka,
You might want to start a new thread. I'm poster #106...but before you do, I'd like to ask you a question. Why did my response "We'll see" strike a nerve w/you? Others had posted about the possibility of you and Mrs. Wonka reconnecting...but it appears that my response was the only one to send you in a "heated" tail spin. Why?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Yeah, Wonkity, howz come you weren't T'Ode with me? I wondered about that. It's because I'm so cute and cuddly, isn't it?


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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