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Wonka:

So the message will be:
"W, thank you for sharing your thoughts about the marriage. I know it cannot be easy for you at all and it took tremendous courage on your part to do this. I didn't realize that you thought the marriage was a form of "abuse" to you. I appreciate you being so open and honest with me. To be clear, I do not want a divorce, but will not stand in your way.
The papers were signed on January 16th with the solicitor and sent out. HWA

Thanks Wonka. I will send that text tomorrow morning, as it is now midnight. I don't think the W would appreciate the text at this time. :-)


ME:51 W:46
M:25
S:22, S:20
Divorced 16/9/15
BD 10/12
W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12.
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I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
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Want to add here that since you've signed the papers and sent them out, the ball is squarely in W's court.

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Yes Wonka, the ball is in her court. If she now signs the papers, she agrees still on her choice in the splitting of assets ( I haven't fought her on anything, just the value of the houses, which the bank valued for me) and all she needs to do, is not sign the paperwork to stop the assets being split. While I have made mistakes along this track with relation to the DB principles not being done as well as I could have/should have, I certainly didn't make any mistakes with regards to the actual separation, moving out and then the legal aspect of this sitch.


ME:51 W:46
M:25
S:22, S:20
Divorced 16/9/15
BD 10/12
W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12.
Dark since 6/13
I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
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Sounds like a good response HWA. Just remember, no expectations! You probably won't hear back from her, because I think she was just making contact to check on the progress of the form. Back to working on you smile


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Agree ^^^

Send the text and put the focus back on you!


Me:44 W:43
D7, D5 (S11 from other R)

T: 8y - not M
ILYB: 8. Mar 2013
W moved: 1. Aug 2013
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Before I send this, I had been thinking over night about this one line:
I do not want a divorce, but will not stand in your way.

While the W is probably heading in this direction. Divorce has not been discussed, nor has paperwork been sent to solicitors.
Therefore should this subject be brought up by me? Should the sentence be more:
I do not want to split the assets, but will not stand in you way.
?????????

Again, trying to think more sensible rather than emotional.


ME:51 W:46
M:25
S:22, S:20
Divorced 16/9/15
BD 10/12
W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12.
Dark since 6/13
I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
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HWA,

You're over thinking this text response.

The process of divorce is the splitting of assets, right? It stands to reason that you don't want a divorce, right? Then stick with the "I don't want a divorce, but won't stand in your way" line. This is your way of making your stance known to the WAS, but are not controlling or interfering with their choices. It is the sensible thing here.

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Thank you for the quick response. Trying not to over think, it was just something that came to me when I woke up.
Again, the way you explain it, is fair and logical.


ME:51 W:46
M:25
S:22, S:20
Divorced 16/9/15
BD 10/12
W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12.
Dark since 6/13
I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,364
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Text has been sent.


ME:51 W:46
M:25
S:22, S:20
Divorced 16/9/15
BD 10/12
W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12.
Dark since 6/13
I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,364
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Well the reply was:
"thank you for letting me know. I will check with the solicitor to make sure he has the paperwork on Tuesday"


ME:51 W:46
M:25
S:22, S:20
Divorced 16/9/15
BD 10/12
W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12.
Dark since 6/13
I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
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