I'm not sure about where you live, but I was unable to change my daughters name (her request) because her father (that she has seen once in 4 years) said no.
I also agree with the others that you need to stop replying to W when she takes the conversation south. When she makes her digs about your GF, either ignore her or use AS's reply that you pay support and other than that it is your business.
Did she really sell the car? How is she going to get around, with 2 young children, and get a job if she doesn't have to have a car. Is there a chance she is lying?
I honestly believe she hasn't sold the car or the laptop until I see for myself. She could easily just be saying it because she is feeling hurt. It wouldn't be the first time.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I'm probably the worst at this, but you just need to end those conversations with a "no".
That's the only thing that has resulted in my W responding. Don't be a jerk, don't say anything else, just say "No."
Your W Responding in what way?
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
D ASAP Get her to agree to settement so she will sign the house over to me so I can remortgage. Sort out every little detail to do with kids.
I said I wanted go on Dissertion. He said it had to be 2 years. We are going on adultery. I said it may be tough sell for her to admit to that statement. I said she is stubborn but I bet he hears that quite a lot.
His advice was to D and then afterwards if need be sort out the child stuff. They are completely seperate. If I do both now I could end up dragging out the D for years with dissagreements, mediation and cost. She might not like something to do with kids and slow down the D and vice versa. Too many balls in the air. Get the divorce sorted with all financials. If she is still be awkward about the kids then do that part. Any sort of issue to do with the kids would have to go through mediation before the courts would entertain getting involved.
After talking with him I agree. As much as I would love to have this concrete agreement about the kids I certainly cannot afford to play games with her if I can help it at least until I'm financially stable.
In regards to the name, she can't legally change it without my permission. If she starts with the "known as" at school or nursery etc. Because I have 50% parental responsibilty I can phone the school and tell them I don't agree to the "known as" change and as the school won't want to get caught up in a legal matter this trivial that they don't have to they will keep using their legal names. I feel a lot better about this. I won't be going anywhere near this until D is finalized. She is could pull excuses from everywhere to make this difficult. At some point I need to tell her that her phone contract (currently paid for by the company I work for) is going to be cancelled. I can wait until after D So I'm going to.
He reckons it will take between 3-6 months. Depending on any speed bumps.
The next step is coming up with an agreement on the settlement with her. When she agrees he will draft a letter. It will mention the reasons (adultery), the settlement agreement and her handing over the rights to the house ASAP. I asked him to write the letter with as little blame and adultery pointing finger as possible. He said I am paying her more than she is entitled too but it is a good thing as she can't argue tit for tat because of the generous sum.
The stumbling blocks at this this stage are her agreeing to a figure and her also agreeing to adultery.
I came out of there feeling pretty good. The adultery will be a massive sell in my opinion.
I text W last night and told her "I think I can get 5k together" no reply yet.
Oh well the ball is rolling...
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I am glad about the name-issue The adultery-issue along with other could mean that you are in for some harsh words. Get the advice from yesterday under the skin so future convo's follow this.
What did he say about the car?
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
I am glad about the name-issue The adultery-issue along with other could mean that you are in for some harsh words. Get the advice from yesterday under the skin so future convo's follow this.
What did he say about the car?
F
I told him I was letting her have the car. He made a note of it as an asset but other than that nothing.
When I picked up the kids I noticed the car wasn't outside the house. Just before we set off she came out of the house to go somewhere. I turned the right hand corner and noticed a car like hers in my rear view mirror (if I had turned left I would have driven past it). I pulled up after a few parked cars so I could still just see it in my wing mirror. I was quite far away but could still see it. Within a minute or two (walking distance from her house) it drove off. I'm 99.9% sure she is lying and full of sh*t.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I hope you have good luck with adultery grounds where you live. I think she will counter-sue when she finds out, just for spite.
It's that or unreasonable behaviour. I'm not suing her for adultery. The theory is I'm saying that after we seperated she has formed a relationship with an unamed someone and because of that I want to D. The L worded it quite well.
I think she might spit feathers. It's also a lot of money for her to turn down and spend her own money fighting it.
It does feel like a long shot but's it's my only shot currently.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I agree, I can't imagine many people who would agree to that, even if it's true.
Maybe things are different in the UK.
L said it's very common place. He hasn't had someone in the same position try and fight it in the last 15 years.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
