Thanks for letting me know. What is it that you are looking for specifically?
Brevity is the key in texts with H. It is clear that H is trying to make a dig here to bait you in reacting angrily and trying to defend yourself. It's soo freakin' transparent! Silly man.
WR, I'm very happy for your son. This was a huge step for him and I'm proud of him and I don't even know him. Congratulations to your son. I know you are very proud of him and will be there for him no matter what.
Also, congratulations on having some work come your way now. I'm sure you could use the money and the time to focus on other things.
Trust your gut on whether or not you respond back to him...but if you do, wait a couple of days before doing so and respond back w/a question..."H, what do you think you are missing? I gave you what you requested." Leave it at that. Don't offer up anything more. If I recall, you did have a discussion w/him a while back about clothing, i.e., ties and that you were keeping a few for your son. Whatever you do, don't get into a text battle w/him.
To be honest w/you WR, I think your h is going to be a problem child and he and his family are going to continue to bug the crap out of you for a while. If your h continues to ask for things from the home, set a boundary and put a stop to giving him things. I insisted on a list from my xh be provided to my lawyer and I would review the listing and give him what I thought was proper. He still went back and continued to say he had personal items in the home, which he didn't and thank goodness I had his list and took photos of the things I gave him. You may end up having to do this at some point...
If you don't want to respond back to him, then don't. He needs to understand that you don't own a storage facility and since he's not been back to request additional items, you very well could have assumed that he didn't want or need them and gave them to Goodwill. Anything is possible when it's been 8-9 months of disconnect in communication. LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for commenting Wonka and job (thank you for congratulations for S19...., He's had such a struggle. I'm very proud!!!)
I may not respond. Just like I didn't with his sister. If he has something to ask me he can start by being civil! I really don't deserve to be talked to like this. Other than the ties, which S19 wanted and the boots he needed, I don't know what he's talking about. it's too bad. He should have taken everything when he left I feel like we're in kindergarten and instead of telling me he likes me he is kicking me in the shins.
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
That is the decision you've made for now and that's good for you. Just be fully prepared for the possibility that H will badger you about his "missing" clothes. He might text you again later tonight or sometime tomorrow. The scripts we've provided you are good templates to work with in the event that you do hear back from H.
Seriously, I do like job's idea of taking photos and documenting which items you've handed over to H. That provides you great protection from any further gaslighting from H.
Thanks for letting me know. What is it that you are looking for specifically?
I wouldn't drag it out, just make him be specific.
If he's gonna ask again about the ties or the boots, make him do the work of actually saying it. (Then let him do the work of actually asking his son to give him his boots back, if he must. No need for you to be the go-between.)
Of course, he might actually be missing something, and it might be in a closet or drawer somewhere, so go ahead and inquire what he's missing.
Odds are he doesn't even know, or it's something you already gave him long ago.
I think KML, Wonka and I are all on the same page. Put the burden on him to tell you exactly what he is missing. If it's the ties or the boots, then advise him that son is using them and then it's up to him to contact son about them.
I agree w/KML that he may not even know what he thinks he's missing, but is using this as an excuse to bug you right now. Keep in mind, he's not happy and he doesn't want to see you happy either. But, if you do give him things, be sure to keep a list and take photos. Sometimes they do forget that you've already given them things or that they've tossed the items out themselves.
WR, make him tell you what is missing....don't help him. If it is truly something that is missing, then it might be still in the house, but who knows what he's missing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
BTW, I do find it funny that he didn't tell you what items where missing. Normal people would tell you what they think is missing and ask you if you've seen the items.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You're all right. You make very valid points and I don't need to worry about when the next nasty text is coming. I will ask tonight. He can wait nine months he can wait a few more hours.
I should do his grammar corrections and send it back and ask him to try again. Lol.
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
He did it himself...no one else did it for him.