So you wanna play with magic

[Whiterose]

KML we're not friends he has just "unblocked" me which means I can search his profile, see his comments and "likes" on any mutual friends pages. Also, any photos, statuses or comments I have tagged him in, from when we were "friends" are now visible on his page again. My privacy settings don't allow for much access to my info but if I'm with one of our sons or one of our mutual friends he can see that (but, I've never blocked him so it was always "available" to him). I was also unfriended by all his sister's months ago so same rules apply.

As of this moment there is no OW....never has been OW. I think, that being so scarred from his dad's numerous affairs and mom's one, that, for him, that is a line he cannot cross (for now). Also, he knows, at some level, that if there was another woman our friends would "judge" him or he'd be made out to be the "[censored]" His words in other situations so I'm wondering if it applies to a woman too. I had thought there was something up with someone he worked with in June and he was still talking about my question months later....defending himself to anyone that would listen. Adultery disgusts (DISGUSTS) him.......I also think he thought I would up and find a man right away hoping to seal the deal for him.

[AJM]

You would be surprised, W. My ex was the same way - disgusted by others that cheated etc.

I found evidence. It wasn't a question of if or shades of gray.

Up until that point, I vigorously defended her.

All I'm getting at for you? Just be mentally prepared. No reason to act on the possibility, but don't be surprised either.

You may have never thought he'd do this to you either.

AJ

[kml]

I had thought there was something up with someone he worked with in June and he was still talking about my question months later....defending himself to anyone that would listen. Adultery disgusts (DISGUSTS) him

Methinks he protests too much?

Honestly - women sometimes leave just to be on their own, but men almost NEVER leave without something with someone else going on. It could be as simple as an infatuation with that woman that never went anywhere, or an internet relationship with someone in another country, or a rekindled long-distance affair with an old flame. Or maybe he's a closeted gay having sex with men in public restrooms, who knows? All I know is, I'm hard-pressed to come up with even one example from these boards where the male WAS didn't eventually turn out to have SOMETHING going on with SOMEONE.

Not that it makes any difference, really - just be aware.

[Whiterose]

I completely hear you both....but, there is no one. I'm positive....could that change? Absolutely! In every other way he is a typical MLCer but in this he has deviated from the norm.

He loves me more than anything, did anyway, and I honestly believe that he wanted peace. We fought a lot and it got progressively worse as he went into the tunnel. His family is like that actually. They won't acknowledge a problem in the hopes it will disappear and they can live peacefully.....he left to run from his problems and find peace. There may be someone on the horizon but not up till now

[LoisB]

I shut my account down temporarily for awhile to protect myself from seeing pics of H and OW. It was a good move for me.

It's simple to do and you can easily get it going again.

[Wonka]

WR,

My take on the whole thing is not to take down your FB account. Doing so will make it 'appear' that you're running scared and they got you. Just leave it and follow Ellie's advice of not posting financial information, you with men, etc. Make it so ho-hum with boring and mundane postings that the ILs will eventually turn their attention elsewhere. They just want to rile you and have their own "fun" with you.

Not cool!

[kml]

WR -

We fought a lot and it got progressively worse as he went into the tunnel.

What was the fighting about? Did it only start just prior to his crisis, or was it always an issue? What do you see as your role in it? What was going on?

[Whiterose]

I use my acct to run my business page and do a lot of social networking through it as well so it's hard for me to just shut it down. But, I can see how it could help mental status heather.

The only posts they can really see is ones I tag S19 in as he's friends with them. S14 some of them. I'm glad they're so mature as to use this to their enjoyment. Nice!!!

We fought about money, stress, housework, cleaning, stuff like that. We were very young when we got together KML, I got pregnant quickly, he left, I never dealt with my feelings about it and he never owned up to it.......we never learned to communicate properly. I almost died at 29. He lost his good paying job 6 months later and I was on disability. Life. We fought about life. As he began to spiral, I didn't understand his distance. Anger. Dissatisfaction. Didn't address it properly....used anger and frustration. Fights became about every little thing that annoys you about your partner. It wasn't pleasant

[FlyOnTheWall]

Well WH, I just read all your threads, what can I say but WOW.

What an incredible journey in such a short amount of time. You have been given such great advice along the path too.

I love your willingness to be so honest, even the damn cursing for such a good catholic woman hehe.

I hope you don't have regrets, I think you did what you HAD to do to protect your boys/family/home. I never saw any malice in your intentions, especially considering what you were receiving.

If and when you decide to drop the rope, I truly think your going to be beating men off like crazy to win your heart.

Everything about you screams attractive. Someday, hopefully soon, you'll get a chance to open your heart back up.

[Whiterose]

thanks so much for reading through FotW!!

It has been a short amount of time, right? But, yes, I'm extremely blessed to have met so many wonderful people here willing to share their experiences and time to help me along the way.

I asked my priest....he said God understands that swear words are just sometimes necessary! LOL

With the state of my H I don't think it's a matter of "if" but "when" I drop the rope....he doesn't like me. Wants nothing to do with me. Can't divorce me fast enough. Hard to stay married to a man like that. Took off my wedding ring last night. Had a great time with my boys (even S19 stayed with us to party instead of going out with friends) my family and friends. Ate and drank too much. Sobbed at 12:15 and then picked myself back up and joined the rest of the room......slowly, disengaging from him.

One day a man will come along to love me beautifully (this is the prayer:))

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my wonderful friends here!!!!!