It's bad enough dealing with H's crazy $hit but they all want to attack me......really, eggs!?!?
I didn't add the tomato because I don't like it, neither do my sisters, so my sister said "voila! (My last name) family recipe!" Lol. Obviosuly, not on fb....through text
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
WR, I would just ignore the behavior and let it go. They are just trying to get under your skin and get you to react. You handled the comment quite well. She certainly can't say that you came back to her in a negative way. Just be yourself and let them stew in their own juices. I have nice huge black cauldron that would do well for them all to have a stew. LOL!
Consider the sources and realize that they don't have anything else better to do but follow you. Obviously you are and have been the topic of conversation this holiday season and what better way to see what you are up to but on FB. Again, you are taking up a lot of room in their heads free of charge. LOL! Whatever you do, don't let them see you sweat. They want to rattle your cage and get you to argue w/them...don't do it. You are far better than that. If they knew that they had rattled you a bit, they would have a good laugh and continue to do so...kind of reminds me of bullies just a bit.
I do hope that once the holidays are over, they'll settle down and get back into their routines and leave you alone. Try not to think about it and consider the sources and go on w/your holiday festivities. They aren't happy people if they have to aggravate others.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I doubt they'll leave you alone for a while to come, but one can hope that the holidays will end and so will the games.
Plan for the worst and expect the best, right? Plan for your SIL to continue the guerrilla warfare (if she really cared, she would call you right? and plan accordingly. She'll try that. You'll react like <insert your reaction>.
I agree with job - they are trying to bully. The best way to deal with a bully? It's to not engage in any way shape or form. Why? Because they'll use that to keep at it. It gives them fuel.
Quote:
They want to rattle your cage and get you to argue w/them...don't do it.
My suggestion? Ignore it like you would a small child that was trying to get your attention by yelling and screaming but otherwise in no danger of hurting themselves or anyone else.
I know it makes your skin crawl, your hands shake, and your feet sweat (well, that might just be me) but it'll stop sooner if you do not engage with it in any way. You have nothing to prove and silence speaks much louder than words. Believe me, I've been in your shoes... Many of us here have.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Other than my one comment I have not engaged in any way........is it ok for me to be pretty proud of the fact that after the first couple of months of shock I do not engage in any drama talk. (except the one time when he bounced the mortgage) but I don't initiate or engage.
AJM I'm so glad to see that you also shake and sweat.......after I read the comment I was shaking so hard I needed to deep breath. Another one out of left field. I'm definitely hot topic of conversation, YAY ME UGGGG, but my gut is telling me something is up with H. The sister's are being b1tches but H......hmmmm, something is up. Why would a man that has blocked me and untagged photos of me, hide photos of me (after court) all of a sudden unblock me allowing my photos back onto his FB. My H is not that bright (honestly, he's just not very calculating which is why he's managed to create such a disaster without me every making one move)..........my spidy senses are tingling
thoughts?? am I being crazy now too?
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
WR, Sit quietly and the all will be revealed in due time. Whatever is going on began over the holidays and right now, they want to aggravate the stew out of you. Your h may not actually be doing anything to you, but he's right there in the mix. Some of the mlcers will get others to do their dirty work...that's why it is very important to just sit quietly and patiently. Trust me, if there is something going on w/your h, you'll know very soon.
Now, you are giving them plenty of head space and they aren't paying rent....this is exactly what they wanted to do...aggravate you and spoil your holiday. Don't allow them to do this to you.
Yes, there was a time that I would have reacted just like you and even went further trying to justify my actions to others and when I realized that they didn't care about me, but rather the xh and saw how they bullied, I learned pretty quick that you need to step away and not provide fuel for their fire. A bully is only a bully if you allow them to get to you and react.
For now, focus on you and your sons. It's almost 2014. What are you planning to do to welcome in the new year?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Maybe they had him unblock you so the SIL's could go through his page to see yours? I know if I go through friend's pages I can sometimes click through to other's pages that I'm not friends with. Not sure how high your settings are but it could be possible.
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
You're right job......I'm giving them space. I need to stop
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Yes, they're all whack - consider the source and pay them no mind.
As for H refriending you on FB - he may be looking for "dirt" on you that he could use in a divorce. Don't post anything about buying anything or about finances (unless it's to complain about how broke you are). Don't post any photos of you with men. Don't post ANYTHING that could be twisted the wrong way around.
You never post anything about H having OW, but in all my years here, I've almost never seen a man leave who didn't have OW. What do you think is up with him?
One small note: I used to get that way. That stopped long ago and the balance seems to have shifted. I am calm and not interested in talking to my ex at any time. She gets nervous talking to or hearing from me. <shrug> dunno why.
I agree with kml - pay them no mind and be highly suspicious and cautious of H's motives.
I might even shut down the FB account at this point. The news is littered with people that have used it against others in relationship breakups. It's too easy.
And I'm sure he'll use something on the page to "prove" his point. It's not hard to take things out of context and bend them.
Best suggestion? Close down your account until the paperwork is completed. You won't be sorry for that.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
