Well, after 10 years of marriage, I get an email of all things saying that he isn't coming back and wants to divorce. I 100% expected that he wouldn't want to attempt to work on things with me since I haven't heard one single peep from him since he left. Its still a shock anyway and it still saddens me. I'm not sure why he waited until a week before Christmas to tell me this. I guess I can use my holiday time off to start cleaning up the house and getting rid of things and preparing it for a sale. I don't even want to be in the house right now. I just want my own apartment filled with only my own things.
I haven't yet replied to the email, I want to make sure my reply is calm and collected.
Me: 31 H: 32 Married 10 years, together 11 No kids H moved out to an apt 8-3-13
Experience: That most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God, do you learn. ~C.S. Lewis
So sorry to hear it lostinpgh. Just remember that nothing is over until you decide you are done. I'm not telling you to continue to wait for him, nor am I telling you to move on, only to realize that his statement that he's not coming back is just one more piece of data on a long journey and not the end of the road.
He didn't feel this way about you when you got married, so that proves that feelings can change!
Your best bet at this point is not to fight him regarding his decisions because it pits you as his adversary. Instead, go consult with an attorney, understand your rights, and go from there.
In terms of not knowing what to ask a lawyer, I would contact a divorce lawyer, explain your situation, and let them guide you. They will know what to ask.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
So sorry Lost. I dont know what to say. Try your best to stay positive by focusing you. I know that's hard.... just try not to dwell on any negative thoughts and keep busy with positive things.
((((HUGS)))) to you.
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Its so weird that I actually feel a sense of relief about knowing that they are together? I think its the fact that my instinct was right and I knew I should have listened to it. I'll never ignore it again!
Me: 31 H: 32 Married 10 years, together 11 No kids H moved out to an apt 8-3-13
Experience: That most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God, do you learn. ~C.S. Lewis
I understand how you feel about finding out. WAS almost always does a ridiculous job in concealing their act. They leave bits and pieces and had the gall to deny any of it or give out nonsensical excuse.
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
