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I would suggest not trying to manipulate some kind of response, just give her the address to send your IRS letter to. This is an insignificant exchange and doesn't increase or decrease your power.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.
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Rick!

nice to hear from you...You sound good.

So how are your kids? Did you finally introduce them all to each other?

If not, may I ask what exactly you fear? You know, they WILL find out about each other someday...

Sorry for the hijack!!


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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That is a weird email from your W that's for sure! It must have come from the mail that you've sent her. I agree with adinva, just tell her what she needs to know smile


H47 me48
T22 M21
S20 - Got high functioning autism
3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her
11/2000 H moves back home
2/4/13 H moves out
H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
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Yes, I said nothing more than providing my address and closed by saying thank you... I realize it was logical thing to do. But with her initiating so little it simply crossed my mind to maybe try something to invoke more....Now though I am glad I did not. Thanks Advina your thoughts were right on....And TTD as always thank you too....

I find it interesting how great I have been feeling until I heard from my WAS. Funny how one email contact from her was able to affect my long overdue descent mood. Oh well, lessons are still being learned and in the end a better "me" will prevail.


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There was nothing in her text that made it sound like she wants to talk to you beyond the minimum required to coordinate mail and such, so your response was appropriate. Don't read anything into it, I don't think she was reaching out to you. If she ever does you'll know it!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Quote:
Some say stay dark as a possible with hope of the WAS getting to miss you. Others say peek out occassionally to not let the WAS forget about you.


I always wonder why a man would want a woman who could "forget" him so easily after she was M to him. If you have to remind her ever so often.....why would you?

Quote:
But with her initiating so little it simply crossed my mind to maybe try something to invoke more


Again.....why would you want to, if she doesn't?

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....Now though I am glad I did not.


Wheee, me too! smile


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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"Wheee, me too!"

LOL, thanks Sandi!!


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ditto...^^^^

if anything, your simple cordial response was the best answer anyhow.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Posts: 415
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Thank you 25 I appreciate your input....I realize it was the right response and I'm learning to accept things for the way they are. It's been a looong and confusing 7 months though. Now however, I feel as though I have come "out of the fog" of being left behind. Detaching and moving onward is my resolve at this point and it has been coming on strong of late.

Since joining this board I have had excellent advice and input from so many here. I know in my heart these very worthy people have helped bring me through to where I am today. And yup, even the 2 x 4's I've been hit with occassionally were deserved and served thier purpose.

Now 8 months later, I have relocated, took a new job, purchased a new vehicle and have met lots of new people. Geesh, some of them even seem to like me. Things are definately on the upswing again and honestly I FEEL PRETTY GOOD...The number one and most important thing I have learned is to DETACH. This truly is the only way back to our own sanity again.

For any newcomers who might come across this, let me say the following: NO, it is not easy. The pain of losing a supposed loved one hurts for a good long while. Thoughts and pains will creep up on you sometimes even after you begin to move onward. But I promise you, if you detach (there are many things written here about detachment)and keep moving forward there really is light at the end of the tunnel!

GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT!!


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Great to hear you're doing well and finally getting some GALing in smile I'll lock away my 2x4 with your name on it now smile lol.


H47 me48
T22 M21
S20 - Got high functioning autism
3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her
11/2000 H moves back home
2/4/13 H moves out
H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
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