Where I have been for the last year:

[Jack_Three_Beans]

So here is the deal:

I’ve been gone for about a year, it’s been a very rough year. I needed to focus on myself, family and my job.

Last October 28th, my lower body decided to stop working. I had (basically) and aneurism in my spine. A vein blew up like a balloon and pinched off blood supply to my nerves in my lower body, it is called a Dural Arterial Venous Fistual…gesundheit if you said that out loud.

During this time in the hospital my oldest boy decided to rebel. He decided not to come home stay out and live with friends, steal stuff, break into cars, and break curfew…, awesome.

I was in the hospital for a month and a half. Had a chair lift installed in my house, learned how to move, how to do everything in a wheel chair, learned how to dress myself without moving my leg, how to take a shower sitting down , I started going back to work.

It was also during this time that my oldest boy was now going to be a dad as well, my 16 year old boy who couldn’t remember to turn in his homework when he went to school was going to be responsible for a child…

A month later with an MRI, We find out that the glue used to ‘fix’ the Dural Arterial Venous Fistual, didn’t catch all the intakes to the vein. Now I need real surgery, cut open my back saw away some of my spine and cauterize any spot that shows up on multiple angiograms…

I was out of it for 2 days.

I was so tore up and hurt that I lost all my progress I had to relearn everything, everything, that was depressing. I was a bag of tears.

I was also back in the hospital for another month.

Poor Jack…

Well, thanks…but here is the reason I am writing this.

As bad as this may be for me…how bad is this for my wife?

My wife Heather, who has struggled with all of this and her job and learning to be the provider and making dinner taking over all the roles I used to do? How hard…and she complained, I won’t lie, but she never stopped. She has not stopped.

She had to rearrange the house, she had to install ramps and redesign our bathroom, while working, dealing with my oldest sons issues, bills and my problems.

And this is the woman, to whom I was separated from for over a year. Who had an affair, not unjustly for the record. Who said she didn’t want to be married to me.

The marriage problems were almost 8 years ago now.

At times I wondered, but not now. It would have been so easy, in fact I offered her many outs, but she only got mad at me when I suggested them.

So here I am, 8 years after one of the lowest points in my life with a wonderful wife, who almost wasn’t my wife, but I never gave up and I gave her chances, the door I left cracked open.
Your despair today, doesn’t have to be there tomorrow…oh do not get me wrong, it was not easy, but worth it?

Oh yeah.

Don’t give up. If they are worth it, don't give up on them, and one day they won't give up on you.

You can do this.

[Drew]

Welcome back my friend.

As always, strength and honor.

Mach, let's get the band back together...

[job]

Jack,
Welcome back! I'm so glad you posted.

You have been through hades and back and yes, your recovery is not over, but you are further along now than this time last year. I am so glad your wife has stepped up to the plate and is sharing in the responsibilities of day to day life once again. It's not easy having all of the work to do alone when a spouse is recovering, but from what you've posted...she is being supportive and that's what is important. Sometimes a crisis will tear a family apart and then again, a crisis can bring a family back together again. You've had both happen in your family and I am just so happy that your family is there w/you each and every day.

I'm sorry to hear that your 16 yr old is going to be a dad, but I know you and your w will be there to support him, the young lady and the new grandchild through the days and years ahead.

You have been and continue to be an inspiration to all that come here. So many have inquired about you during the last year. You have been missed by all of your family here and what better time than to say "Welcome Home".

[Whiterose]

Wow jack what a year......I'm glad you're feeling better. It must have been so hard on you all. This is the first time I've "met" you but I'm so glad that things worked out with your wife.

Keep getting stronger!! All the best
WR

[tigerlily78]

I have read many of your older posts while reading old threads, Jack... I am so sorry to hear you have been through so many challenges with your family, but it sounds like at the core your M is where you worked to get it back to. That gives so many of the rest of us hope.

Best wishes as you continue your recovery. You seem like a guy who just keeps stepping up to the challenges and persevering, that shows a tremendous amount of heart.

[bustingout]

Jack...I have really missed you. I have thought of you often. I am so sorry for what you have been through. You are one of the strongest, wisest and most determined people I have ever 'met'. I know with your strength, courage and wisdom and love you will continue to be the best man you can be. I understand you are still recovering and I am happy to read that your wife has given you the support you have needed.

Life doesn't stop giving us punches...thats for sure.

Thank you for posting this:

Don’t give up. If they are worth it, don't give up on them, and one day they won't give up on you.

You can do this.

Simple words that mean so much.

(((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))

Welcome back.

[AJM]

Damn Jack. What's on the agenda for next year??

Nice to see you back online.


AJ

[JuneReN]

Wow. Best. Christmas. Story. Ever.

Relative newbie, but you are legend.

I am glad to see you here.

[uRworthy]

Hey J, so glad to see your thread.

You and your family are always in my prayers. I hope by now you know how I feel about you, my friend.

You have been missed here.

You just keep going, Jack. He holds you in His capable hands.

[reachingHigher]

Wow! What an amazing and wonderful love story from both sides!

Thank you for posting and letting us see a little into your world.

I sometimes have wondered if reconciled M's can truly last, and this shows that as a definite yes they can!