you can let her vent IF it's at all productive. Do not defend yourself but simply say
"if I had it to do over, there are lots of things I'd do differently" and that does not escalate.
It also shows that you CAN and WILL change (perhaps for another woman. And that will bother her b/c then you'll be a great catch, etc)
but if she makes things up or believes them but YOU DO NOT, then say "wow, that's Not how I rememeber that at all, but I'm sorry if you were hurt."
Then REPEAT the line about how you'd do "lots of things differently if you had it to do over again"
but not that you are asking to. Do NOT pursue her.
Most importantly do not let her disregard the custody issue and use your son as a pawn.
He needs you as much as you need him. Be true to HIM and do not let her keep you from him. It's not about keeping peace with her at all costs. It's about being there for your son, at all costs.
Make sense?
I happen to think, in the long run, it will help both relationships if you make time with your son the priority.
But if you must choose, choose him.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I think, I am putting son as priority. She keeps making these weird stories that he can't stay without him mom. That sounds a little more than manipulation and making it look like every one else is not taking the kid into consideration. She says the court doesn't know how the poor kid feels. I mean is this meanness or what. And she says I am mean and cunning. I just listened and said be fair and follow the court orders. There are these orders in place as you know we can't agree on small things and we fight about every thing. She wants to go to court for a trip she wants to go to brazil. I am glade I did the joint custody. She would have just separated me from my son and I would have just begging her. Which she likes the most. She wants to be on the dominating side all the time. I think she is so manipulative and a huge liar. Actually pathological liar. I will just listen. I spoke only about 10 % and she was talking 90%.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
I went to daycare, son was very happy to see me. Wanted to go home. But said mommy is going to pick him today. He wanted to play and I let him and he went back to his friends. But he was looking back for me. That was amazing how they processes things. Spoke to his soccer buddies mom. I will try to get to those games.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Decided to go to EE work shop. Few things I wanted to vent. She says I did not fight for the marraige. . My son 3 yr old keeps saying I don't want to go to my parents. Don't know what to do with this brain washing. I don't want him to be caught in this cross fire between us. She not wanting to take him to my parents is going in for 2 yrs. I trying to take and keep my relation with my side of family alive. Should I be direct and tell her or just ignore and tell my son that my parents are family and they love him .I did say that to my son . Focus on postive aspects and tell him that they love him. It's like she will loose a battle if my son spends thanks giving with my parents.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Was reading DB again, I think I regressed. I am thinking of GAL. She consistently, is acting as if she doesn't care about the relationship or marraige. We are D now. Says she was very happy without me in the picture. I did LRT. With only access to son and his well being. One of her conversations she says she has not gotten a chance to talk to my BIL. I asked my sister to see if he could talk. She turns around and says she never said any thing like that. I am still pursuing her . The sooner I get out of this saving the marraige mode the better for my pschy. I can help but let her go , I better get a life and keep moving , I am not stable yet job wise. I need to start my own business and keep puting my head up
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Any one going to EE work shop in Philly this wknd, see you there if any wants to chat. I will be there. I better get a life
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
EE was eye opening, I highly recommend that free time to unwind and resolve the issues in your system. It made me more real and in touch with myself and is giving me more clarity. It's the relations and how you go about facing the emotio al challenges. We are lot more powerful and humane then we know. It is changing my life and I am moving in a better direction. I am charged, my energy is more directed to worthy tasks and I am changing my paradigm from a more in- control rather than something out there is influencing me.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Happy thanks giving to all, I took my son to my parents and she was giving me hard time. Although the weather is not that great in N east. She was not communicating well, not replying the morning of travel to my text messages and phone call and I had to page and call her to OR. I needed passport or some form of identification. My son is 3 1/2 now and I was not aware that I can travel with out his passport. She keep saying that I dont pay attention to things when I was married and I was traveling and I don't trust her word. She was busy at work and did not want me to call her, she also says she will call her lawyer and say that I am harrassing her at work. Totally a ballastic reaction. I just went and did not bother, just texted her that I should trust her more but the way things are between us , I was not even sure if she was going to send my son and pull some thing new. This was so hard for her to let go to take my son to my parents. She keep playing this game , this is my first time with my son and me flying she barely says any instructions and wants me to pick him up from daycare few hourses before travel. she could easily drop him at my place and keep it simple.i understand she just doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I am not even interested in any thing to do with her, i just want the interactions with us smoother when we it is about our son. I need to get more assertive and clear in how I interact with her.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
She is not responding to text message#2 in regards to y son. called day care and spoke to son. Wanted to know how he was doing. Enjoyed hearing him on phone. I want to see if she would work with a mediator . I don't want push her now, i have a feeling it's not good time. I will just wait a bit, i have a feeling we are going back words
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
