Cancer [censored] and Leukemia blows......and the exercises from the book "NO MORE MR. NICE GUY" are a major pain in the ass!
I have a new mission, to break out of "Nice guy syndrome". Its amazing, the combination of a dominating mother and a father who was brought up in a single mother home has contributed to me not knowing how to be/act like a confident man.
In fact, I had become so dependent on my wife that I was unable to make a confident decision. STILL, I depend on many for advice and guidance.
I used to be a leader, now im happy to be a follower "Its easier"
One of the first exercises the book made me do was to make a list of the many times I wasnt allowed to be who I really was. The list was long- and it was always my mother.
What do I want INSTEAD OF what will make my mother or wife happy (or not upset)
Ive been doing this so long I have zero idea of what I want.
My father is the same way and I just now realize that if I dont break this cycle I will be just like him 30 years from now.
He attempted suicide by eating a box of rat poison 10 years ago.
Thankfully I have an AMAZING support network and I will never be in that horrible place but unhappy/miserable are certainly possible.
needless to say...change keeps a coming!
D3.99 and I went to my friends house to visit on Sat night- There was blood in his urine. He had been home only 2 weeks after staying at various hospitals for 2 months- and he had to go back.
So I asked him if I was bringing him right then and he asked for one more night in his own bed and that he would go the next morning (yesterday). I brought him in and hung out for 6 hours.
Needless to say he was admitted and LUCKILY he will be staying local (for now). He needed alot of blood and platelets and the doctors have no idea how to help him.
Thankfully we have a brand new (1 week old) hospital and when I spoke with him this morning he said that he was very comfortable in his beautiful room.
(His nurse and I also seemed it hit it off very well yesterday as well - after she realized that I wasnt my friends "partner")
My friend had alot of fun yesterday afternoon during a real shi__y situation. He was laughing and joking....When he was cleared to finally eat the Dr. said "low sodium"- so he had our nurse order him a pepperoni pizza, french fries and Orange soda. The nurse looked up laughing "The Dr. is going to kill me" My friend said "ohhhhh like THATS whats going to kill me".
I love amazing people!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
"Do you know what I like to do when im upset Daddy?"
"What? D3.99"
"I breathe in and then breathe out and then I move on and play with toys Daddy"....."
My girl is a genius!!!!!!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
