If only I could afford the plane fare HWA, it'll be great to come to your thanksgiving party I agree about the change of name as well I think I need to change my name to something more positive, I was thinking just TTD180 That's a great idea that you have in your part of the world HWA about the orphan's Christmas party. I also suggested to 2old that he could help out at a soup kitchen for the day, he'll get a sense of worth from doing good and have a meal afterwards with the rest of the volunteers
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Hey Rick, good to see you are still around. Thanks for popping in my thread....And yea I like the idea of changing my nick...Keep watching for it...lol...
And everyone else who commented I say Thank You!! You guys and gals really are a HUGE help to keep moving forward. So my news for this thread is as follows: I did NOT wish my WAS a happy turkeyday! This is a real 180 for me and I knew she would be expecting one. I figured to throw her a curve ball and stay quiet. Oh I know it really doesn't matter to her probably. However, it has given me a lift for now and in some small way it shows her that her power over the sitch is fading into the sunset...
Well done 2old Hope you had a good thanksgiving whatever you did
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Ditto, well done on not sending a message. It is so hard to make that choice, but once you have decided, it is then a big boost to you.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
TTD, thanksgiving was turkey eating and football all day!! HWA, as of this moment I still realize not contacting is for the best right at the moment. Not only for me but I believe my sich. Not sure about Christmas greeting as yet but something will drive me either way...
You know today I was going through old emails and saw exw correspondces regarding paperwork for the divorce. They go back to 2011. Her responses were so cold. Hard to believe this from someone I had spent more than half my adult life with. We haven't spoken to each other for well over a year. Things get better and the normal feeling comes back lil at a time. Once you get over the need to rescue her. The feelings of guilt diminish. She made the choice. Your choice should be to have a great life. Yes it takes time to not want to reach out. It's a process.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
It certainly is a process Rick. But, after 7 plus months of this I am detaching more and more. It is hard to not reach out even still. I just keep putting in my mind though how I now realize there isnt much I can say to budge her from her coldness towards me. She only responds to my statements and absolutely nothing more.
I know I am getting tired of this treatment also. First completely blindsiding me then iceberg me like its the southpole. Yea, I'm tired of it by now...Now that I have relocated been busy and really starting to get a life. And I understand what your saying about spending half your adult life with someone only to be let go so strongly (for lack of a better word).
For myself, I have put this all in God's hands. It will be whatever he chooses it to be anyways.
Putting it in God's hands is all you can do 2old Just don't take it back off him, lol. Easier said than done I know
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
[quote=2old) I know I am getting tired of this treatment also. First completely blindsiding me then iceberg me like its the southpole. Yea, I'm tired of it by now... [/quote]
So true and such a good example.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Well, things have been going well with my new job for the past month. Lots of Christmas parties also...ugh,,,,Anyways, I have been trying to stay dark with WAS for sometime as many of you know. And now in a rare email contact initiated by her I'm going to have to respond to the following I received earlier this evening:
"2old,
A piece of your mail came and I believe it is from the IRS office. What would you like for me to do with it? Do you have an address I can forward it to?"
No signature as usual just the low energy WAS stuff. No, since I have moved she hasn't had my new address. I have had no reason to give her it because of the lack of much contact between us. Obviously I should be emailing her back saying thank you and please send it to blah blah blah. But damn it, I have been doing pretty well of late with n/c. Been feeling like I have taken some of the "power" back in this sitch. And now because of the IRS letter for whatever reason being sent to her address (which she hasn't ever given me by the way)I know I have to respond even though I truly dont feel like it at the moment...
Oh, and even though it is an IRS letter im not worried. Shouldnt be anything more than a yearly notice. So, any other thoughts for a response than what I am already thinking of saying which might draw out something different from her?
I agree about the change of name as well