Don't write her off. [Because if I was smooching with you in a parking lot, I'd know how I feel. :-)]
Maybe leave her alone for a bit? From what you wrote, it sounds as though she's going to be busy and her schedule seems pretty hectic with some unknowns. I know when I have weeks like this (and travel coming up), I'm not exactly an easy person to schedule anything, and this includes my friends. If I feel overwhelmed, I back off from pretty much everything except my obvious commitments: work and D16. And if I feel any pressure, I crawl into my turtle shell. (Um, I'm in this mode right now, to be perfectly honest.)
I can't speak for Barbara, though. So pay attention to your intuition over us. But I'll be the one who advises you not to fret too much at this point. Get busy Christmas shopping and devote that energy into your daughters...
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Let's see. I've had 10 birthdays pass without a significant other. That includes the big 5-0 (which was a miserable birthday!). While I love birthday attention, I know that I'm loved by friends and family.
I also know you are too. Why don't you plan something totally off the wall with your girls or a couple good friends? And if nobody can schedule time on Thursday, how about all weekend long?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey - Wise words indeed and you may be exactly correct (I am hoping you are at least) as to why she isn't available for a date. Her actions during our last two outings did not reflect someone who wasn't interested in me that is for sure. So I will take my chill pill, pull back and wait.
Originally Posted By: Underdog
p.s. Happy birthday!
Let's see. I've had 10 birthdays pass without a significant other. That includes the big 5-0 (which was a miserable birthday!). While I love birthday attention, I know that I'm loved by friends and family.
I also know you are too. Why don't you plan something totally off the wall with your girls or a couple good friends? And if nobody can schedule time on Thursday, how about all weekend long?
Thank you for the birthday wishes!! So it's not so much that I am into big birthday celebrations, I just look at it as another year older and another year without a permanent partner in crime to experience life with. My first birthday without a significant other was the big 5-0 so now I am almost half way through this decade and before I know it will be staring down at the big 6-0! My girls will be with their mom on Thursday (they are actually going to a halloween party at a friends house). However I do have an offer from Marianne to spend my birthday out celebrating with her. I initially said ok but now I'm trying to figure out if I want to do that or not. Seems a bit outside our recently established "friend zone" but these boundaries we've established are still a bit new with some occasional flirting based on our past thrown in - although there was definitely a lot less of that the last time we got together, especially on my end. What do you think?
I'd go out with Marianne for my birthday as long as you're not likely to run into Barbara. My first instinct on reading what Barbara said is that I can relate. She is a busy Mom with a busy career. I think it is important that she told you what her plans are. But who knows...
I agree that you should be hopeful but stay busy. Find out what will work for her. & when you find that out - you will know more.
Does she know it is your birthday this week? Even if I'd only been out with someone a couple of times - I would send a birthday greeting. I hope she does.
Aww BA, I would worry about being with the wrong person over being alone. I have always spent my birthdays with my family, including my parents. Tradition I guess. Looking back though, I can't think who else I would want to spend the day with.
Don't get in a panic over Barbara, you've only dated a few times right? On top of that I am sure you notice how not being available has got you bothered. It works in reverse too. I don't think she is playing games. I think she is really busy. Maybe you should make yourself busy too and not with just dating either.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I hear you! The thing for me is that my kids keep me hopping, more so this year with D14 in marching band. It has been good for me because it gets me out of the house. I am learning to trust myself again. It is a slow process but I think it is supposed to be.
A good guy will come along. I am on eharmony. I am working on improving my life. The pieces will all come together. No point in forcing anything.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
GM - Yes the feeling chemistry is well, intoxicating. Then it's immediately terrifying because you don't want to lose it. I've had it twice this year - lost it once which was hard and we'll just have to see what happens next.
I am taking the what seems like unanimous advice here and giving some space and time. I do hope I at least get an acknowledgement from Barbara on my birthday Thursday. Her's is on Sunday.
So tonight I have kept myself busy by finishing up the book I have been reading. It's called "Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn. What a great read - very suspenseful. They are making it into a movie for release next October. Should be good.
I've decided to keep my birthday celebration with Marianne for Thursday as well. It will be good to get out and have a drink or two with her. We never lack for conversation and have a certain level of comfort with each other.
Thanks for chiming in everyone. I really rely on the soundboard this group provides.
Enjoy the day doing what you want. There are really no expectations for this journey; it is what it is. Everything is going to turn out the way it's supposed to, so no use forcing it or reading much into anything. If Barbara is supposed to be in your life, she will be. If not, she's another stone closer to what you're looking for. It will happen, chillax!
Get out and play some golf! That always makes everything better...
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Meanwhile... The Sat night guy is pursuing quite nicely. Asked me yesterday for a dinner date on Friday and just now asked about playing golf this weekend. We've talked on the phone for an hour the past couple of nights and I really could talk to him for hours and hours. He's got an intelligent/interesting perspective on so many things. Oh, and he's got a flirty/naughty side that's very appealing without being creepy...
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Thanks GG for the early birthday wishes! I'm glad that the Sat night guy sounds so promising!!
I'm playing golf Saturday morning with some friends. Didn't get to go last weekend because the course was frosted over and they delayed tee times too late for me to play. The weather here is actually supposed to be quite nice over the next 3 or 4 days - 71 for a high tomorrow on my birthday!
I'm glad that the Sat night guy sounds so promising!!