My friend, Mach, thank you for writing that. I hope you know how much it means to me. You know how I feel about you and how much I respect your opinion.
Nero, my friend, I want you to know that I see who you are. I see the kind of person you are inside. .
You are right, we do not know what tomorrow will bring. But, we can have great hope that it will bring something good. Or we could strive to enjoy what it brings.
I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to hear that you are capturing moments of pleasure and that you now see the possibility of true happiness one day. I most certainly think you are on the right road.
You should never feel sorry for how you love. It is who you are. And I think you're pretty great. You know, Nero, you will get to where you need to be when you get there. There are not timelines, no straight roads here. Everyone's journey is unique to them.
And you are right, he could just walk out of your life. He chooses not to and I think that is telling. If you are not ready or willing to remove him from your life, then you should not. As long as you are not getting lost in the process.
I know what you are saying about putting others first. I am the same way. But I have slowly began to learn, very slowly - LOL!, that it is ok to take care of me, too.
This is all a process, my friend. And you are looking within and hashing some stuff out. As long as you are doing that, you are moving forward.
I was thinking today about acceptance and how that can help aid you in healing. We don’t have to like or agree with what is going on in our lives, but, we should accept that this is how it is right now. Doesn’t mean it will always be that way.
When we resist or hang onto what is happening, it forces us to act in a way that doesn’t serve us or the situation well. And so, we begin to live in fear. When there is fear, there becomes an inability to do or see what needs to be done.
I know all about fear. I lived in it most of my life. I allowed it to dictate my actions and my feelings. But, whenever I have faced the fear, and accepted what is, it lost its power. And all the things I thought was going to happen , never did.
I thought I would never get through this. I did. I thought I would hurt like that forever. I didnt. I thought I would never trust again. I have, I do. I thought I would not be able to survive on my own. I have.
I have learned to trust me again. I have seen my strength. I have looked fear in the eye and beat it down. Mostly. LOL! I still struggle with it. That is the truth. But, I am not going to give into it. Too high a price to pay.
The sooner you accept that this is what is for right now, the sooner you can start to do what needs doing. The truth is, that you will all survive this no matter which way it goes. You will be ok. And if you do the work, you will laugh again, love again, trust again hopefully with your spouse.
Do not let fear stop you from what you know you should do. Do not let it keep you stuck. Do not let it take away your power.
i wonder. iknow i'm a fearful person- well, was alot worse at other times of mylife. i guess that's the downside of being all "possessve" of what you have that you feel is SOOOOO IMPORTANT to you and your happiness.
the mere thought of loss- it squashes you rite down and all your gumption with it. . the good news i guess about the bad news is that you get squashed rite down into the turf - and then when you realize you're not dead - not likely to get dead- and in fact begin to pick up and get going again- it's something like "victory". knowing you have nothing left pretty muich to "lose" and you're not dead - and even laugh now or then. or alot- even if it's not good ole "happiness"laughing- even seeing the humour in your plight is something.
i keep thinking of an article that says even ifyou make yourself laugh - and it's fake as heck- your body releases something or another that helps you feel better. i'll take it- good ole fake attitude improvement- any improvement at all- real or fake.
no shame. that's me- no shame at all. that's what i like about the feeling like a human being rite there sholder to shoulder with every other person alive on the planet. may have more money or more looks or less of both- but we're allllll the same more or less under the skin - ta da!
i could sure be a good monk or cult member- i can honestly tap into it - that feeling of being all one...(
oh well-
ya know- i wasn't really kidding about the book thing. i have a tiny little book i picked up one morning in a book shop- three bucks or something. cutefunny drawings and maybe 25 or so pages- something like "just be yourself" kind of stuff. i don't even particularly like some of he little proverbs or "tru-isms" - but i love the book.
i went and got one for my neice - struggling sometimes with life, job, family, h ,anxiety & etc etc - alllll of the things we all do. she loved it- got one for her sister- got one for neice up here- one for her sister- somehow picking up that little thing- seeing one little "thought" that applies so well- and "reminds" me - makes me get up, dust yourself off and face another day.
no kidding- if you could distil it all into about 20 or so little "thoughts" think of allll the people who would pick it up on a bad ;morning (most of them lately) and just get their brain going down the rite trail with a thought that "united" them a bit- welllll.....
i love that kind of stuff- and mind control as well
think about it man- da da da dummmmmmm......
so- would you wear a disguise and a wig for your first interview with oprah???? would you need to be unknown? or just go for it- and bam it all out there in life as your real self???
xxoo thanks for sharing your stuff man- it makes such a dif to alot of us -
I just love you, Nero. Really and truly. I hope you know just how amazing and unique you are. You put a smile on my face whenever I read your posts.
Thank you so much saying that about me writing a book. Rosa is all over the idea. LOL!
The thought of helping people or touching their lives would mean so much to me. But I am not a writer nor do I think for a minute that anyone would read something I wrote. Nice dream, though.
And I think you know the answer to the Oprah question. I would just be me, thats the only way I know how to be.
I see that there are those of you somewhat new to this.
First let me say, I am so sorry you are going through it.
I used to write to someone and say I cant wait until they get to the good part. To which they would say, Um, UR? Are you crazy? LOL!
Dont get me wrong, I wish I didnt have to go through all this. I wouldnt wish it on anyone. But I dont think that the lessons I've learned, the changes I've made, would have been possible without this journey.
The most important thing to remember is that you will be ok. Carry that with you. When things get tough, pull it out. When you want to quit, pull it out.
And you will be, you know.
This MLC monster, is only as powerful as we allow it to be. I used to try to envision it as this big red ball that I carried around.
After awhile, it got heavy. It wasnt even my ball. It was his. So, why the heck was I carrying it? I threw it back to him.
I needed to pick up my own ball. And I chose a pretty lavender one with flowers on it. And in my ball, was all the things I wanted to do, all the changes I wanted to make. It was heavy at first, to be sure. Because it was also filled with all the stuff I needed to sort through.
But each time I did, it became lighter. Every day that I got through, it became lighter. So that all that was left was all the good stuff.
Dont make that big red ball any heavier than it already is. Throw it back to him. Let him carry it.
You pick yours up. And fill it with all the things that make you happy. Fill it with dreams and hopes.
You only get this one life. This one chance. Dont be weighed down by someone else's stuff. Leave them to it.
uR, That post has inspired me. Thank you for the visual imagery!
It's really helped me to see (!) how to detach and let the ever-present burden go.
I'm focussing on my ball - it's sky blue and sort of like a medicine ball at the moment - there's a lot I need to do. Hope it will soon be like one of those floaty beach balls.
