Is it too late?

[trueblue1]

Thanks Luke,

I think its more than half full, just dont want to trip up & spill any!

TB

[AnotherStander]

TB, it's a great sign that your W is willing to open up to you to that extent, and you're doing a great job of staying away from hot topics (M, R, D) and validating her. Just keep doing what you're doing. Keep it at a "friendly neighbor" level. Your sitch is still quite young, hang in there and have patience!

[trueblue1]

Thanks AS,

As always appreciate your comments, I am in a world now where I know thats all i can do. Deep down concern that the OM is still on the scene but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
WAW is away with her friend on a theatre trip this weekend, it was a birthday treat from me on her last birthday in June. I'll probably get a thankyou text, the upside? she wont be with OM this weekend makes me smile a little!

Cheers All

[trueblue1]

Update time!

The 72 hour phone call from WAW came as usual! Regular as clockwork nearly. Only a 10 minute call this time but she sounded better than she has for a while & light conversation, no relationship stuff. She wanted help with a map for her weekend away so sorted & e-mailed (I simply do not understand why she does not use OM for this kind of stuff & advice etc & I probably never will)

She is away on a theatre trip with her best friend this weekend (tickets, nice hotel, train etc all paid for by me for last birthday present before I found out about affair) no doubt she will text to say thankyou on sunday, the temptation to reply with `well, hope you enjoyed it, no more presents like that from me' is quite irresistable! .She also went on a Spa weekend a few weeks ago which had been xmas pressie from me but I resisted that time!

Hope you all have a good weekend.

[sayitaintso]

just for my sanity I mentioned `well you'll be fine & have disposable income when boyfriend moves in'

I get wanted to say things like this but do you think these type of comments could be perceived as passive/aggressive or a dig at your w? Are they bringing you any closer to your goal?

I suggest doing your best not to bring up OM.

If you feel like helping out then help her out but don't get lost thinking about why she is asking you and not her BF.

Let's say OM does move in, are you still prepared to be available to help her with her problems?

[trueblue1]

Hi Say,

Thanks for your comments, don't worry I wont say it, it was a little tongue in cheek but i cant deny the temptation. 2 months ago it would have been the first thing I uttered but not anymore.

If the OM moves in my financial assistance when required would stop, as for anything else I think I would always be there to help, WAW has been my best friend for many, many years & I could never turn my back on her. Just a shame I didnt show that during the last couple of years (she has said that a few times too)

But, I cant change history, only tomorrow, lets see what that brings,
Thanks again
TB

[sayitaintso]

Just a shame I didnt show that during the last couple of years (she has said that a few times too)

But, I cant change history, only tomorrow, lets see what that brings,
Thanks again
TB

Don't beat yourself up. I did for way too long (years). Of course we never intended to be where we are and would do things differently if we could go back.

We didn't know then what we know now.

[trueblue1]

Hi Say,

You are right, cant change the past, only the future, sometimes wish WAW would realise future would be different, but, from the learning on this forum, she may do eventually!

Latest Update:
WAW had the weekend theatre trip (which was the final present that I had purchased before the split after trip to turkey & spa day) & txted to say thankyou on Sunday night. Ive had a couple of potential issues with my job over the last few days & all of a sudden, shock, WAW shows first signs of concern over my plight since we split up. 3 phone calls from her yesterday & a number of txts such as:

`dont say that you'll make me cry!' (this was in reply to a txt saying if I get a pay off I'll be able to sort her mortgage problems)

`i'm sure it wont come to that, your good at what you do x'

`You sound too cheerful, I'm worried for you x' (part of my 180 & GAL, must be working lol!)

`I can worry if I want to x' (I'd told her not to worry, shes got enough to worry about)

I wanted to say stuff like `whatever happens in my job it will not destroy me like losing you' & `i can get another job but will never replace you' but I held back as usual.

So an interesting day, I'm not reading too much into it but it does make a change to be part of her thoughts,

Have a good week

TB

[trueblue1]

& now shes asked me round for a cup of tea tonight! Another first, lifes getting more & more complicated!

TB

[LuckyLuke]

Morning TB - might going out for a cup of tea instead of going to her place be a useful idea? It seems like less baggage would be attached. L