Thread #4- The pivot I hoped wouldn't come

[Positivespin]

Chapter 3 here;
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2376067&page=1

Well, I just received the email I was dreading
So I thought we should begin the divorce process. We had talked about mediators and the therapist had suggested these people:
(name) They seem good to me. I don't know them other than by reputation and I may have seen one at a training. If that sounds good I can call to get an appointment.


Suggestions on response?

[JayMan]

I just went to my first divorce hearing today, and discovered it's way less scary and takes WAY longer than I had even hoped.

Unless you're ready to meet, I'd respond, "I'm still chewing over my options, and don't want to make any hasty decisions; but if you want to meet with an L to get your thoughts together, you're more than welcome." You can delay nicely and carefully like that.

[JayMan]

P.S. Sorry for the gut punch; I know it's tough to finally hear it.

[Maritimer]

I feel for ya PS,

Like JonF said, dont rush it. Let her know that you will get back to her after you thought about it more.

Glad to hear you found a nice daycare for your daughter, Thats a big load of your shoulders.

[littleGTO]

PS- I agree with Jon but take out the "you can see a L" part..she is well aware of that, I'm sure.

(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS TO YOU, my friend)))))))))))))))))))))))

Need a band-aid? I no longer have any cool Spiderman or Cars ones in my house, just generic tan ones!!

BTW- did I tell you my FIL is from ME- Castine.

[LBH_LC]

I'm sorry, PS. Take heart that this is a long process and you don't know what the future will bring. You and I have seen many seemingly hopeless situations turn around since we've been here. Keep the faith, keep DBing, and keep on GALing.

Thinking of you, buddy.

[jp787]

PS - Sorry buddy, guessing that stings.

I agree that a simple response would be best.

"Thank you for sharing where you are at W. I will get back with you soon."

This is another step, tomorrow isn't written.

Your in my thoughts.

JP

[Positivespin]

Thoughts about this response;


Im not ready, If its something you feel you must do you can make the call. Nothing "sounds good" about this.

[JuneReN]

Hmmm...I especially like the "I thought WE should begin the divorce proceedings"

I would not use the "I'm not ready" which implies that she will hold off because you aren't ready, at least to me, it does.

Do you have another way to phrase it? I have nothing this morning...lol

[Fartiltre]

PS

Sorry you find your self in a rough spot!

I agree with KP and futhermore I would lose the last sentence as well. It comes out clingy to me.

What about combining JonF's and your own suggestions and go with something like:

"I am still working my options, but if you feel you must do this now you can make the call."

All the best

F