You got this!! Really, for now, the hardest part is somewhat over, you made it, you've learned, you've progressed. And your still growing. I think the road, although still long, flattens out a bit for you now, or do some of the turns seem not so sharp?? go figure?.
Without giving up hope, holding the rope as tight, trying to pull off a miracle that cant happen in the time frame. You'll be ok. Your husband's journey is just starting, let him have it.
I think your going to understand things in a whole new light sooner rather than later. The pressure will be off you, and on him. Watching from the stands, watching from 50,000 feet, seeing things thru new glasses. Its all a good step when you realize theres nothing you can do but let him fall.
FlyOnTheWall, I think you are right that the hardest part is behind me. I do feel a sense of relief, a huge sense of relief. Like a weight has been lifted and I no longer have to worry about whether things are going to work out. I can just BE!
Perhaps that is why I am doing ok in spite of the circumstances. I also feel that I have been given a lot of time to think about things since February, and seen him go through all sorts of changes, mostly negative. I have felt the love and care he used to once have for me dwindle away, and now I want more for myself, and feel like I deserve more.
I know that you have been going through a lot of changes yourself, what was the experience like for you?
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
I found the same thing CP. After my H told me he was done, I found that I detached a lot quicker. It's only been 2 weeks and I'm at that point where I find myself looking forward to him leaving instead of dreading that time. The uncertainty is gone and, like you said, now you can just BE!
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Very true NQ.. I am definitely detaching. And I feel I am a stronger person now for having gone through all of this.
peace and love. -cp
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
Having an ok day today. Feeling stressed yesterday about finances and thinking about how money will be split from now on. I am feeling a little bit nervous about how it will all play out. I just want to be certain that I have enough support, resources and money to care for my children after the separation is over.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
CP, I'm confident that you'll be taken care of. Try to look at it in a positive light that you'll be able to decide exactly how your $ will be spent yourself. That freedom can be empowering. Be strong in asking for what you need. I really think you'll be able to get through this for the better.
ETC
"Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
instead of dreading that time. The uncertainty is gone and, like you said, now you can just BE!