That happened to nearly all of us. You DB. You become someone only a fool would leave. You work on yourself, detach, follow the 37 rules. That is exactly why we're all here, pretty much. You are in good company here.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Hi. I am new to this site and I am miserable. I am currently writing this while I am lying next to a man I do not know anymore. We have been married for 18 years. We have always been a really tight couple but 3 years ago my husband lost his job and took a job that sees him traveling every week out of the country to fun foreign places. At first it was ok but I hate it. Gradually we lost contact with friends and family. And then he stopped saying he loved me that frequently. Then in April he told me he could see us separating after the kids graduated in the next 6 years. Then in May he told me that he would never forgive me for the career mistakes HE made in our marriage. Then a week later he told me he just doesn't love me anymore but he is going to try for the next two years until our oldest daughter graduates. But then if it doesn't work by then he is leaving me because he has always wanted to live alone and it would give me time to remarry while I am young. However he wants to have sex all the time. More than ever. He is seriously depressed about his job but then the next day argues how great it is. I just say nothing. He spends all his time learning french. I took the girls on vacation because he was working and he mad a huge deal about how great it was to be alone but all he did was drink . Since I got back he told me that I have 20 months to get my self together or he is leaving. But I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing. He can't tell me one thing. He has been cruel to me and is lavishing attention on our youngest child. Now I am stuck at his parents house with him for two weeks. In private he is complaining how miserable he is and how he didnt want to come. And being overall cruel and cold to me but In Front of his parents he is being nice and like his old self. I am just so sad as I see this person I love so much being cruel and cold and really mean to me. I really need help here.
Fighting for my life W=45 H=38 M=18yrs D=16 D=13 Bomb Dropped = 5/10/13 Still in house for I guess another two years according to him.
Hello everyone , I'm excited to become a member of the online community . Looking forward to posting and getting other perspectives on my situation . Would really appreciate hearing from you all. This is really a test post to see how it all works ! Thanks
You must be feeling miserable right now. On the bright side he has opened up and actually shared with you that something is wrong! I know you probably think I'm crazy right now, but he is sharing with you that things need to change! Most men do this in their heads and then one day...kablooey! He is still under the same roof, and he is still having relations with you! These are two positives. There are a lot of marriage books . I'm waiting on Divorce Remedy, but am in the middle of many books. His Needs Her Needs is a good one, that may give you some insight. Also, you may benefit from the Gottman Institue web site. He sounds angry and as if he is holding some resentment...even though he says two years, the fact that he is verbalizing now may be him getting closer to taking action. Time is of the essence, start reading ! I didn't get such an in your face message, my spouse just gave me a sentence here and there, and I didn't understand that there was much more going on in his head. Keep posting and venting!
MLC=[censored] to be him
empathy: putting myself in his shoes and fighting like Hell for our marriage
" I will see you again...this is not where it ends..."
I am experiencing the same thing. I dont like waiting and it doesnt seem like these boards are that active. I think if the approval process wasnt so stringent I think people would be here more often and the retention rate would be much higher.
Just answered this question and thought I would also post the answer here so I could find the answer again if someone needs it.
Originally Posted By: NASCARDaddy
I do have one question that is related to board operations and not to my situation.
Is there any way that I can set it up to receive e-mail notification when there are new posts in threads that I am following?
OK I have been researching this question as I do not use this function but it DOES work.
I have just tested it and got my first e-mail from DB.
Let me see if I can explain it.
There are quite a few steps to set it all up.
1) At the top of your topic it says - New Reply - and then another box that says topic options.
There is a drop down menu and one of the choices is to "Add topic to your Watched Topics" - select that.
Then go to "MY STUFF" and click on "WATCH LISTS" Then another page comes up and you must click on "Watched Topics" and then "Edit Watched Topics"
Then you will get a choice of E-Mail Notification None Immediately
Select Immediately Then at the bottom hit UPDATE WATCHED TOPICS.
That should set it up correctly, it is working for me. Good Luck!
Cadet (or others) Realize it's been a long time since you posted this, but I'm stuck.....
First, the "add topic to your Watched Topics" doesn't work, as it does not show up in my watch list. Is that because I'm new?
Second, when I want to check email notification, the only option I see is to get notification for a whole forum like "For Newcomers" and not the individual thread like "Newbies introduce yourself /moderation notes" which I'd like to follow. Is there an option for this?