That is true Barb, however there is a little bit of a sense of urgency in that as Wii pointed out a few weeks ago the cutoff in interest of eligible women out there drops dramatically once you hit 55 and you fall into a whole new ballpark. As I am getting closer to that age I'd like to find a compatible partner before my selection pool of interested women is somewhat limited.
That is true Barb, however there is a little bit of a sense of urgency in that as Wii pointed out a few weeks ago the cutoff in interest of eligible women out there drops dramatically once you hit 55 and you fall into a whole new ballpark.
BA, this is the first time I really feel the need to question Wii's data accuracy. I mean I know the pool gets limited in some ways, but really? You sure as hell seem like an attractive, motivated guy with lots of interest and his heart in the right place. You've got it going on like Donkey Kong.
Are you really telling us you're looking at the clock and calendar?
Way back when I was in my 20s, some of my friends' mothers told me that interest dropped off after 25. That makes me laugh now. I am of the ilk that WHEN THE STUDENT IS READY, THE TEACHER APPEARS. You're going to be at the right place and the right time when the right person comes along.
Let's talk this out. It just may be that I should feel more of an urgency to get back on the horse. I'd certainly like to hear what the other folks have to say.
GG, see? Good for you! You go, girl!
Nothing to report here. I just assumed my solo parent hat this week so things should be busy. Can't believe next weekend is a holiday weekend. Where did this year go?
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
There is NO urgency!!! I was only suggesting a week or 2 off. Sometimes when we step back - we see things in a better light.
The right person comes into our lives when the time is right. I originally suggested dating more than one person at the same time so you could compare - rather than sticking with one from the get go then getting your heart broken when it didn't work out. But I didn't mean that you keep going and going like the Energizer Bunny. It becomes too impersonal and overwhelming.
When I eat too much dessert - I get a tummy ache. If I met too many potential dates at once - my head would spin and nothing would make sense anymore.
I think you need to take a little break, reapproach things and take it easy.
You are one lucky man to have so much interest. I really don't see much chance of things slowing down any time soon.
Guys, I really DO need your help with this online dating thing!! I'll gladly pay your tab in exchange for some advice and guidance.
I am like a new 10 week-old puppy who just went outside in the backyard for the first time to explore and looking at that swimming pool very tentatively with my teensy tiny butt high up in the air and sniffing at the chlorinated water.
Just made my own profile. What next? How long did you lurk around the online match sites? Seems there's different membership levels...1 month, 3 months, etc.
Jeepers! I am so friggin' nervous about this whole shebang. All of my dates have been done organically through friends, gatherings, etc. Well, at the very least, I can check this item off from my bucket list.
just for the record, I don't remember making any statement re: 55 being a cut off point (it's possible though!). I have noticed on dating profiles women often make 55 as their upper limit. Don't know how strict they are about that if you're a decent eligible guy who contacts them but...anyhoo.
Wii--I'm one of those who listed 55 as my cutoff, only because that seems to mean that guys feel 65 isn't that much older. And as Ellie says, I don't date Santa Claus! I have NO problem dating a 60 year old guy. He just can't look like my dad or a friend of my dad. I love my dad, but I don't want to date him. LOL.
Wonka--I joined one for 3 months and another one month. That way, if I didn't like the responses I was getting, the cost didn't seem so steep that I'd feel guilty if I shut it down. I actually set my profile up on Howaboutwe a couple months before someone contacted me. I was interested in one guy but didn't have the balls to connect. LOL.
My only advice is to post an upbeat profile and don't feel at all guilty about stating some hard and fast metrics out there. E.g. if you can't tolerate a smoker, say it. That's the one thing after being here with my dating pals that I'm getting better at doing.
If you get weird responses or even undesirable ones, then you can tweak?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Wonka,POF is free. I did ok there and my best friend gets way more dates using POF than one of the paid sites he uses. But the moniker, Plenty Of Freaks, is there for a reason lol. Again, when people pay they feel a bit more committed than a free site where those seeking validation can do so at no charge. The nice thing about guys is that if they want sex only they throw it out there real fast, they don't date you for months looking to score. I say, just relax and connect with those who show interest and see where it goes. It is a bit intimidating cuz you feel like your desirability is dependent on a bunch of strangers you don't even know. So, it's OK to be nervous...and remember to date safe, if you have any discomfort with anyone who contacts you then don't meet them. But, there really are guys out there looking for companionship but to meet them you have to be out there. I was quite happy with the ladies I met, only one ended in a relationship...which is all I needed and it lasted 15 months, but I enjoyed the time I spent meeting the other ladies too. Never did I feel I'd wasted my time. So no horrible experiences to report. Relax and see where it goes.
Wonka: I would probably sign up for 3 months for starters - then see where it goes. Get clear with yourself the type of person you are interested in and make your profile fun and interesting. Most people are looking for new matches so you will get more action in the beginning.
Most people are most comfortable meeting for coffee to get to know someone without a big investment of time. I used my cel phone joy & only my first name. I was very cautious & if anything felt "off" I cut off contact with that person.
The thing with online dating is it seemed like the guys just totally ignored the fact that I said I wanted to stay within a few years either way if my age. That doesn't mean I want someone my Father's age to date. I have a Dad thank you.
I had a guy get mad at me for not accepting a date with him. I told him that I really wasn't wanting to date someone so much older. So my advice for the start is pay attention if anage range is out there.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I'll gladly pay your tab in exchange for some advice and guidance.