Window of opportunity or just a mirage

[Breakdown]

I haven't read your whole backstory, but based on this thread, I'd say let her drive. If you push, she's likely to bolt...let her come to you.

For the weekend, I'd just let her know it was cancelled and you'll let her know next time if she's interested. If she comes back with an alternative, then maybe go...but don't seem too available or too eager.

And drop the expectations and the mind reading. Enjoy your time with her without attaching anything to it.

[JuneReN]

What I was going to say...^^^

If she says no to getting together, then you will sit and wonder if there is OM and how much fun they are having, where they are going blah blah blah.

Been there, got a few t-shirts.

Let her know about cancellation, but don't expect anything.

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Thank you so much breakdown and KP!!! This is such a delicate situation. I am pretty sure that if I want this to work I am going to have to pursue a little at some point. I will let her know that sailing races aren't happening. Not sure how to word that in a way that she might comeback and suggest something else without me sounding too available. For some things to work, I just have to let the stars align in my favor; things won't be entirely in my control.

Thanks again!!

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Btw. My concern about an OM is maybe slightly different than others. While I am certain at least one OM has been (or still is) in the picture, I am almost certain that either w or OM or both are not interested in a serious long term relationship. This is to say that if w happens to really want to be with an OM, then he is not that into her (or possibly the other way around). It would be upsetting to me if w may want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with her. All I know is that w is not happy with whatever is going on in her dating life and that she has been dating. If we ever get to piecing things back together, the fact that she has been with others may be difficult for me to deal with then.

[2ndtimearoundCA]

So w and I exchanged a few business-like texts yesterday about some tax documents that needed to be signed. By early evening our tax lady emailed me what we needed and I forwarded to w who at first couldn't figure out where to sign. W called and text me, but I was unavailable. Then she sent me the following:

Her (8:06 pm): Never mind I'm a (dummy). I figured it out... Just emailed signed docs to you

Me (9:13 pm): Don't be so hard on yourself... I can remember one remember one time that you did something really smart...

Her (9:40 pm): And what was that 1 thing?

Me (7:17 am today): That is something to be discussed over drinks. But there might be a few other instances ...

Now that is a little pursuing, but it is mild compared to what I did to get her to agree to go to Vegas with me (of course she canceled that trip). Anyway, it is just drinks like we did last week and I am just trying to move things forward a little. I am thinking that she may ask if we are on for this weekend (sailing trip that isn't happening) in which case I can suggest something else.. Or she may just ignore me altogether today....

[2ndtimearoundCA]

So at 5:38 Friday night w texts: no boating this weekend

I don't know if she was asking or saying she couldn't go.

I text back (6:06 pm): in Marin now. Seeing a local band with friends tonite. Looks like we may be boating tomorrow. Should be a good time.

Her (6:24 pm): Fun... B careful. Don't fall in the water

I don't know if she wanted to go or what was up. I didn't directly invite her this time at the advice of friends. They said that if she wanted to go she would mention it... Felt like a very weird exchange... We'll see what happens next.

What to do now???

[MrCAS]

What to do now? Go sailing and have some fun!

What to do about W? Wait and see what happens next. Don't rush things...

[MagicJack]

I dunno...reading your posts I would wait and let her keep coming to you. It sounds like you keep inviting her. Let her want it more.

[Breakdown]

What he said...

[2ndtimearoundCA]

I am not sure i handled the situation correctly. Since having drinks with w two Wednesdays ago I never brought up the sailing again. I said earlier in this thread that I would tell her it got canceled, but I never did that. So when she text me Friday at 5:38 that was the first time the boating was mentioned. As you can see from the text exchange above, I basically told her I was doing other things Friday and boating Saturday without inviting her. So I kind of blew her off and it was really in fear that she was going to blow me off... So I did it first. Now I feel kind of guilty (like maybe I was a bit rude) and I also feel like maybe I lost an opportunity to spend time with her. Now I guess I wait for another opportunity.