Lost, confused and trying to make a stand

[brobafet]

Okay in light of everything that is going on I found out last night that xW is indeed seeing someone else......and she is "in love with him"

Meeting him I'm guessing is what spurred I want a divorce. Which I know she met him about a week before she dropped bomb.

When my friend told me this (she is still in contact with xW) it upset me, but didn't surprise me. It is history repeating itself. I just want to be done with this. I want to escape her lies, and teach my children to see those lies. I don't know what to do other than vent here, vent with family, and try to step back onto my track. I don't want this news to make me back slide. It is running through my head but I'm not devastated by the news. I knew it was coming, I suspected, it just got confirmed though.

Please pray for me.

[Live4myDay]

Awhh. Sorry to hear that. I had the same thing happen to me. denied anything the whole time seperated and just wanted out. Couldn't take living with me any longer.

Lawyer told me there's someone else to be prepared. I stood up for him. My family couldn't believe it either. Sure enough it came out 3 months after divorce was final.

Devestating even though I sorta knew. he denied denied denied and changed history. He still is with her after 3 years.

I don't know which hurts more... he left because he couldn't stand being with me anylonger or that he left for someone else.

Either way he is gone. The stab wound will heal over. But will always hurt.

Make a comeback is what my daughter keeps telling me. Working on it.

Stay strong. Prayers for you.

[RockJC]

Did you ever pick up that book I recommended?

[Lanzo]

Hi Bro,

funny how these things keep repeating themselves in different sitches

Okay in light of everything that is going on I found out last night that xW is indeed seeing someone else......and she is "in love with him"

Meeting him I'm guessing is what spurred I want a divorce. Which I know she met him about a week before she dropped bomb.

My W dropped the D bomb when she started sleeping with her OM, her soul mate.

Dude all I can offer is a big man hug and say you me and others like us will get through this and survive and prosper.

We will get to the point of not caring about xW when we meet our new soul mates but unfortunately for us that is some way down the line.

Take care and look after yourself.

Lanzo

[brobafet]

L4MD,

I'm healing, slowly. It didn't really surprise me just hurt that my assumptions were true. I haven't really been motivated to do much other than come to work, and play with my kids. I need to do more. It'll help

[brobafet]

Rock,

No not yet, Tonight or tomorrow I"m going to the store to find it.

[brobafet]

Lanzo,

Thank you. I need the hug. It is upsetting because I have a fear that she'll be moving in with him and his two kids. If she does that means that I'll have to break my now new lease, move back to my home town and generally try not to become bitter because she is a manipulative #%#%#%$%#@!@##$%$

[brobafet]

Journaling;

Why do I let you occupy my mind so much? You’ve done nothing but hurt me, destroy me. You are a terrible person and I don’t know why I let you control my thoughts. You’ve found another person (which I knew about) and you are in love with him? What do you know of love other than your self serving, manipulative tactics. You are someone who is only interested in your own goals. Never reciprocating the love that I gave to you. You are someone that I found so easy to love, to take care of, to speak to and you threw it all away? I want to be free of you. I backslide and I am tired of it. I see you or hear your voice and it tears me to shreds. I’m moving away from all of my support. You are selfish, you are spiteful and I don’t know my worth. Why can I not stop thinking about you? I am not going to allow this to happen to me any more. This is my last post that I will ever make about how I allow you to occupy my mind. I will not allow the pain to continue. I will find myself, I will be better.

[RockJC]

Ahmen!

[Lanzo]

Hey Bro,
I hit this point last week, it’s agony, its rock bottom, it’s the depths of despair, but there is still depth beneath us if we allow ourselves to sink. But if we get a grip on ourselves the only way is up.

This is my last post that I will ever make about how I allow you to occupy my mind. I will not allow the pain to continue. I will find myself, I will be better.

You having this mind set and keeping to it will help you move forward. I am also using the fact that I am going to progress this D rather than just let it happen to me as a motivator. I am taking back some control over the D and control of my life, I am taking positive action with a positive attitude.

W and OM are not my business now, I am progressing things to get her out of my life asap. You like me was probably thinking, hoping for a last minute miracle, but it aint going to happen, so we have to do what it takes to maintain our sanity, and carve out our future.

Your last posts echoed my feelings exactly, but we have to let it go and create a new mindset, new strategy , new whatever is it that helps us move forward.

We are still on a long and rocky road, but we will make it to the end make no mistake about that.

Stay strong bro

Lanzo