Because I'm brave, (or stupid) I once told W "so you're going to find someone new, and it'll be real hot for a year or two, and then turn cool. What then?
I told H the same thing more than once and so did his IC.
I think that helped him with thinking through his issues and trying to find a solution for his pain that didn't include an OW.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Hey T2, Hope you are doing well. You might want to think about starting a new thread. I'm poster # 122.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
T, FY, rH, CP, TDF, NLT at first I was incredulous that your spouses would think you'd be willing to remain the very best of friends and maybe even still live together after D (although why I thought that ANY idea put forward by a MLCer could ever be too far fetched is beyond me).�
But isn't this sort of the life our spouses who are carrying on EAs and PAs are actually living? And the Standers continue to STFU and DB until the MLCer wakes up, or the Stander snaps.
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
I figured half(?) of the posts in this thread were really Tour De France's thread, so T2 gets a pass. (sorry "TDF", I'm a bike guy so every time I see TDF that's what I think of)
RL, they know the old us would always do anything for them. Since we haven't bombed them, and even have improved ourselves, they figure we will continue to meet their needs forevermore.
It seems to me we must allow them to see what we can offer them in a new M, while also making them aware of what they may be giving up on.
Oh, and you'll love this one: When leaving on one of her solo vacations, W asked me if I would search and find her a nice place to move into! She was only half joking.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
RL, they know the old us would always do anything for them. Since we haven't bombed them, and even have improved ourselves, they figure we will continue to meet their needs forevermore.
How true is this!!
It seems often the only way they wake up is when they realize that we are not available anymore.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
RL, they know the old us would always do anything for them. Since we haven't bombed them, and even have improved ourselves, they figure we will continue to meet their needs forevermore.
How true is this!!
It seems often the only way they wake up is when they realize that we are not available anymore.
This is pretty much what I'm going through right now, so it caught my attention.
It's so tough to figure out the fine line between showing them what a new, improved M could be and letting them see what life is/would be on their own.
I haven't figured it out yet.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
(sorry "TDF", I'm a bike guy so every time I see TDF that's what I think of) 
