Yep. The squirrels are very easy to spook (my current favorite analogy). ;-) Have to watch the situation out of the corner of the eye, use all the senses, and be attuned to very subtle signals. Which, as we all know is exhausting!
Getting updates on the cat pretty regularly. Last time we went through this, our previous cat was the key to staying connected. I had a friend, who passed away shortly after we reconciled the last time, who was instrumental in helping me get through the depression. He was one of those people who seemed to have it all together with a perfect life, but who struggled with depression. He perceived what I was going through and convinced me to seek help for it. He also seemed to be a natural DBer. Even when I insisted the situation was dire, he encouraged me to take it slow, and said that maybe our cat would be the means to keep in touch and keep communication open. RIP, friend. :'(
Just drifting along, trying to keep going the same direction, if not closer, and hopefully not farther apart. (OK, now I've slipped back to my floating down a river analogy.)
Got a FB msg from W (along with daily kitty update) asking if I want her to pick me up Fri so I can go to the mall and get out of the house while she goes to dinner with [friend from old job]. They were supposed to go last week, but it got cancelled so that's when she came over and picked up the cat.
I told her it would be great and I can keep an eye out for any cars for sale (sometimes the dealerships have cars in the mall, but this mall is kind of tiny).
This will be the most time spent together since we went to dinner together right after she departed for the new house. Glad I got that extra practice last Sat being composed and cool around her.
"we can go to a movie too afterwards if u want. Pls know I need u as a friend right now if that's ok. Nothing has changed but I like spending time with you."
Must proceed with caution. I know what I need to do is be that friend, and not overreact.
Been a great week for positive changes. I need to keep up the momentum and get back to the IC, or find another one. Still not sure she's got a plan, other than aimlessly discussing my childhood.
Need to ramp up my outside work in the yard, around the house, etc. now that it's cooled off. And more exercise!
Thanks Linda. Didn't notice your reply here until today. Yep. I've started a new post now that W has told me she needs me as a friend and has asked me to do some stuff together. Figured I'd get away from this pathetic sounding title to something more positive. :-)
Just catching up on your sitch DMR, it's still hard for me to read. This is pretty amazing, and I am so pleasantly surprised:
"Got a FB msg from W (along with daily kitty update) asking if I want her to pick me up Fri so I can go to the mall and get out of the house while she goes to dinner with [friend from old job]. They were supposed to go last week, but it got cancelled so that's when she came over and picked up the cat.
"we can go to a movie too afterwards if u want. Pls know I need u as a friend right now if that's ok. Nothing has changed but I like spending time with you."
I'd say a great deal has changed. She is starting to miss you and remembers that she likes spending time with you! You are not arch enemy #1 anymore! That is a BIG step in this journey of baby steps. You are doing great, keep it up!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
