T^2, I've found the same about myself. I've never met a stranger but also rarely approached one. Now I find myself initiating conversation with practically anyone. And have no concern as to the subject matter or their reaction. I think I maybe running for political office and just forgot to file?
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Idk, MtnMan...maybe losing the "safety net" of our spouses has pushed us to grow and re-discover something about ourselves, maybe even grow some new and different trust in ourselves??
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
People would have to be crazy not to like you, T2. Good on you for getting out there and spreading the fun that is you around. I'm sure hoping for you that the crazy in your life wakes up and makes up for the past two years of her life that she has missed out on.
It's better, right? It's better than when it started. Right now is better than x, and y, and z markers that have made up this fractured period of your life. So if we do a plot graph on this crisis, we can determine as fact the following:
This is not as good as it gets. It's gonna get a helluva lot better. Karma has some payback to deliver to you, and my guess is it will be coming with chocolate covered strawberries. Onwards and upwards.
Just one more step, and then probably a few dozen more, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Oh why not...go get on ahead and focus on knowing there are good things to come. You've done and are doing the work. Focus on the happy, cause life for you is going to be great, no matter what.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
Idk, MtnMan...maybe losing the "safety net" of our spouses has pushed us to grow and re-discover something about ourselves, maybe even grow some new and different trust in ourselves??
^ ^ ^ Definitely!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Thanks for the update T. Time does seem to be sort of warped here in MLC High, doesn't it? It's nice that W got the job; I'd think it would be good for her self esteem and PMA to be bringing in some money. Hopefully! That's some range of self help books she's perusing. Interesting that some are yours! Any on MLC?
Poor S1, scary dream! I hope all's well in fire fighting land. My S27 announced that he decided to join the Air Force. I think it would be good for him, but he says a lot of stuff lol!
"I am feeling sorta like a broken record, "3rd verse same as the 1st"...lol.
Eh, whatever, September is re-eval month, and 2 years from BD#1 anniversary, this week is 2 years from when she created her first online adult profile (of many)... I note these in passing, because I am not really all that bothered, not much emotional reaction going on...sort of like remembering a long lost friend...yes, it happened, but it has passed. I guess this is what "letting go" of those things feels like. And I ponder the changes, the growth, the journey of all this."
I'm so glad you have been able to let all those things go T. Sort of detached about them?
Sept has been a re-eval month for my H too. He broke off his first 2 year long EA in Sept 2011, and broke off his original EA with the Russian Tramp in Sept 2012. He'll spend Sept 2013 in Moscow with her, and I have a feeling it will change his life forever. For good or bad, and whether I'll still be a part of his life come October remains to be seen.
Like you I've been pondering my own changes and those of my own H. And those of the other folk on this forum. You seem to be pretty steadfast. No fast lane for your W but she seems to be progressing steadily but slowly. Like the easy bake oven compared to the microwave. I'm hoping for your sake that she cranks that temperature gauge back up with passion for you really soon my friend.
I've said this before, that I am certain that you two WILL work all this stuff out, and that you WILL be a great couple again!
Raine is right "This is not as good as it gets. It's gonna get a helluva lot better. Karma has some payback to deliver to you, and my guess is it will be coming with chocolate covered strawberries. Onwards and upwards."
Hang in there T!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
We actually sorta worked together in the kitchen last night...she made dinner...I was going to make dinner, but deferred to her since she had something planned.
W came to the bedroom doorway, she wanted me to verify some turkey, if it was still good (I was in bedroom reading, the bedroom is on a different level of the house) so I said bring it over, but she insisted that I come to kitchen to make sure it looked okay (the bedroom has full spectrum daylight lighting in the ceiling fixture, I think it would have been bright enough, lol) so I followed her up and yes, it was fine, both smell and sight...This was "different", normally she'd just bring it over where I was to check it out and then leave (even pre-mlc days)...
...So W hurts herself in kitchen, and after showing appropriate concern, I go into "parent-mode"..."Do you want me to kiss the boo-boo and make it allll betterrrrr?" with the parent look that you'd give to a 4 year old, but exagerrated. She just had this look of "did he just say that?", putting down what she was holding, then starts to smile, almost laugh and looks at me...I just couldn't hold the "parent" expression and start to bust up laughing saying "I can't do it, I can't do it!" and just let loose with laughter (I'm almost positive a snort was involved) and I start to walk away laughing, she is actually almost laughing saying "what the heck?" and I just say "Oh man, I crack me up, I'm the funniest person I know cuz I crack me up more than anyone else I know" (where did that come from and how did it slip out? lol)
Then she says... "DID YOU just say "you're the funniest person you know cuz you crack yourself up more than anyone else ?"
I went "yup, it just slipped out somehow" shrugging. Went about my business herding cats or whatever.
Thing is, I SAW the "old look" when she thought I was funny/fun/whatever from all these years...it was there for that minute.
What was cool was it just flowed natural, just being me (new+old)...no try, just be.
Maybe a wee crack in the wall happened?
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
T2, Nice job! I believe you've seen a teensy weensy crack in the wall.
BTW, I hope your w is okay and didn't hurt herself too badly.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
