My WAW story

[woundedfool]

I need some encouragement. The past couple of weeks have been hard, not exactly sure why, but maybe because the W hasn't initiated any contact for a while. I know I need to detach, it's just so hard.

What are you doing for GAL's? Doing things and staying busy helped me immensely.

I'm thinking about anti-depressants but I've never been on them and I'm concerned about going on them. I'm able to function in general but I'm lacking motivation and I'm just so sick of feeling down! Anybody else start anti-D's for the first time?

Before you go that route, have you gone to any counseling yet? If not, I would strongly urge you to make an appointment. I was in a similar funk, and just talking helped me through it.

[stilllookingup]

I agree ^^. Are you exercising? Earlier in my sitch I understood for the first time in my life why some people turn to alcohol, drugs etc under very tough situations.

I hadn't been back in the gym for a long time because I'm pretty fit. But I finally kicked my butt and started going and man that was the best decision I made this year. I feel great after sweating, I'm getting more toned and I'm getting my head clear. I still cry sometimes when I'm alone. I still sometimes feel unbelievably desperate but whenever I do, I hit the gym.

[JRG]

Wounded,

I've been seeing a counselor but I decided to stop because I don't believe this particular counselor was a good one for me. I haven't decided if I'm going to search out another one.

As far as GAL I have been doing a lot more with family and seeing some old friends. You're right, it does help a lot but I guess I need to do more.

Looking,

I have started slowly working out again, mostly lifting weights. But I've also been walking and riding my bike. I'm thinking of buying some rollerblades. I do feel better after I work out, so maybe I need to do more.

[stilllookingup]

How about volunteer work? I started volunteering at a local pet store since Dec when H was still living here to help cats be adopted. I started doing that because my biggest problem was I always put myself first. I always wanted to do something for me. I always wanted H to spend time with me on te weekends. I have pretty good photograph skills but I've never spent time taking others. So I knew in order for me to change, I had to start helping others. Again, it was the one of the best GAL I started. Aside from volunteering I volunteered to go take family photos, party photos, baby photos of my friends and they were extremely appreciative and it made me feel really good I started doing those things for myself but my H noticed them and commented on the 180 activities from me.

[chasingpavements]

Hi JRG, just read through your story.. stay strong! I know it is so hard, but keep busy if you can! I feel the same way, each day starts out and I feel sad and unmotivated. Getting moving and staying busy works well. I feel a lot of tension in my body throughout the day, due to feeling sad, and I find taking a nice long walk seems to help. I have been walking to the local bookstore and I will just spend an hour looking through all the books for something different to do. Are there any new hobbies you could take up doing that you used to do? Working out is always good, and getting some rollerblades sounds like a great idea.

[woundedfool]

I've been seeing a counselor but I decided to stop because I don't believe this particular counselor was a good one for me. I haven't decided if I'm going to search out another one.

I would encourage you not to give up. I was lucky and got a good referral to a counselor, and it worked well for me.

Were you and your original counselor setting goals? I found that to be particularly helpful.

[JRG]

Just wanted to pass along a book that helped me a lot. It talks a lot about what the WAS is going through. It has some of the same principles of DB, but for me it was a lot more encouraging to read.

It's called "Crumbling Commitment" by Lee Horton. I got my copy at BN.com. It's worth the price.

[chasingpavements]

That sounds like a good book, I just might order it! I find reading helps me a lot, helps me get my mind off of things.

How is everything with you?

[stilllookingup]

How did you come across this book? There are no many reviews I can find but I was just curious how you you came across.

Have you found a new individual counselor? I stopped going since Dec but I just booked a different counselor and going to see her next week. I don't talk about details of my situation to anyone but here I sometimes do feel down a lot. Hopefully I can be completely honest with the next counselor and improve myself more.

[JRG]

I'm in the process of reading Crumbling Commitment again. I just happened to come across it on the internet. I couldn't find many reviews either but read some excerpts from it and it sounded good. I can't believe that it's not more popular!

I have not looked for another counselor. I've been doing better lately, for the most part. I still have my down moments but I can tell things are slowly improving for me personally. I still have a long way to go but the slight improvement provides hope.

I still don't have much communication with my wife. It's better for me this way though. I'm not detached from her yet and each communication seems to provide some sort of negative feeling on my part.

This past week for 5 days I got to hang out with a cousin of mine that I only get to see every 4-5 years. We both enjoy the outdoors so we spent a lot of time bike riding, hiking, and did some kayaking too. It was a nice change of pace to have someone to hang out with for more than a few hours.

I need to find more people to hang out with...