Its kind of hard to do that Shiss. For the past 4 months, he has only seen me in my winter parka...our inventory is outside. My office is now at my parents. Waiting for sunny/warm days here.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Before working with h today, I decided to call to see if he wanted a hot chocolate? He said "no thanks, upset tummy". I went to the drive-thru, decided line was too long & headed back to work. When I got back, h decided he wanted to go pick up more inventory at home to be ready for next client. He was gone quite a while. When he returned, he had brought me back a coffee that he had made for me in a travel mug.
I REALLY appreciate the small things... like this. I know he cares (this confirms caring). But, he's probabably just being a nice guy.
Upside: SOLD 2 more products today, YAY!! and an appointment for tomorrow.
Tonight: Going for dinner/drinks/night at other male friends place with his new girlfriend in neighbouring town. Was planning on turning phone off till lunch time. As every Sunday seems to cause me anxiety/expectations with h. But, because of possible client appt. may have to keep it on. Or at least put it on early.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
I can relate to having a particular day causing added anxiety. For me, it's Fridays. I tried to prepare for it this week, but of course the MC session just torpedoed everything. But I guess it's good to know that we can take steps to prepare ourselves -- gird up our loins, in a manner of speaking -- and be ready to stick to the plan if things get tough. Good luck tomorrow!
M41 W42 M 12 T 15 S10, D9, twin Ds 3 1/2 BD 1/2/2013 Living as roommates Working on D agreement w. mediator 5/13
well... that didn't work. Same thing again this Sunday.. GRRRRR. Client calls me, confirms appointment. H cannot be reached. And I cannot continue with client without h. He has keys, etc.
Finally off the phone with h. Says he spends Saturday nights drinking and stays at buddy's place. Feels Sunday mornings he should be able to shut down and not be available. Wouldn't it be nice if he discussed this new rule with me? I tried to speak calmly but, on speaker phone...sounds like we were both shouting. I said "sounds like speaker phone is causing you to sound angry". Lets discuss the new "hours" later. Client appt. soon.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Is this MLC? I called him back, clearer reception. Explained to him that I was reacting because he is doing a 180 of his usual self on Sundays. I said I was not judging or mad and then validated that I understood he needs "down time", etc. And that I am glad to hear how he is able to "sleep" at his buddy's place.. just validating. Again I hear how he is worried about health and now more so of dying. He feels life is short. He is lonely and bored at home. Life has become very monotonous and feels that Sunday morning's he should be able to shut down. Hanging out with his buddy, is good, he enjoys his company as he is funny.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
WFM, why did you feel the need to call him back? There was no reason! Don't do that right now.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Umm...when is your down time? As coworkers you had better set a schedule. This is such a big part of your life I think you may need a boundary or two. If you were working elsewhere ask yourself if you would be good with this. If so, great, but if not then you have to figure it out.
I called back to validate. Right or wrong, I did it.
Next weekend will be different, his buddy is on vacation!
IO - yes, we need to set a schedule. But, I was under the impression that we were "OPEN" always, as part of cleaning out inventory during our peak season. I am absolutely NOT ok with this... any of this. I do not want to be in this business with him if we cannot reconcile. I hurt way too much to keep doing this to myself. My goal is to sell, sell, sell.
Client purchased today..
Does anyone agree that this is part MLC for h? He is so worried about dying and mentioned that he is older than me just today. He views "50" as old and only has 20 years left to LIVE! If MLC, do I DB differently?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
