Hugs, WFM! I went through my wedding anniversary in Feb. Surprisingly, it wasn't horrible. Friends of mine had the kids and I over, my family was supportive. Really...it's just another day. YOU, are fabulous. YOU be your friend. Just say it over and over!!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Ohhh that's rough. Hang in there! My birthday, H's birthday, Mom's day & anniversary are all within a couple weeks. I'll want to hide soon too. Try to think of a reward you can look forward to at the end of the day. I nice glass of wine and soak in the tub.
it is just a day. Just like V day. birthdays etc.. Just by stating this:
Today is my anniversary... 20 years... guess we didnt make it
your putting focus on him again.
You need to wake up everyday and live in the moment. Why would you even think about talking R with him? so you get deflated and put pressure on him.
On my wedding anniversary I did not acknowledge it. No card. No nothing for her. She actually was nice to me for weeks after that
It is just a day. You really need to change your attitude.
Google law of attractions. You seek misery you will be miserable. You seek happiness you will be happy. Misery loves company comes from somewhere.
We had a a relative female that thrived off of me and my W's problems. It was pretty sick. All of sudden her M was going bad. Misery loves company. Be happy. You can do this.
I don't know how else to drill into your melon how important it is to take focus off H. I wonder if your life depended on it if you would. Im guessing you might die
My condolences WFM, I truly do understand. Now snap out of it and get through this day with a plan to pamper yourself later. Do NOT mention it to H, and if he mentions it be very breezy before you change the subject back to work. Put a mantra in your head to repeat when it gets difficult, like manicure-at-6-manicure-at-6-manicure-at-6 (that's one I would use). Reward yourself, and then later, at the end of the day when you aren't going to risk letting your guard down with H, have a good cry if you feel like it. It's a sad thing. Just keep your sadness private and project to H a PMA.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
well... managed to get thru, so far... Not sure if I projected a PMA, but at least no tears in front of him. We sold some product, and he bought us each a hot chocolate & shared a bagel. Normally, we share an XL drink (this time there was 2 cups)... this is noticed.
Still really sad. I feel so rejected or put on hold. Sad.
Anniversary's are a bit of a sore spot for me, as he has forgotten in the past and intentionally ignored them too.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
also, PON... I have read the secret, and the Power of Now & I feel I have received A LOT due to my positive images (business success, health, relationships). Regretfully, even feel I wished this separation upon myself. REGRETS !! Now, I am not sure how to get that back.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
ok... so finished reading DR, with the exception of chapter 11 (depressed spouse) and chapter 13 (sex)...neither of these areas our our problems...or should I read them anyway?
I now have "co-dependent no more" and "getting back together" to read.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
WFM....there are so many positives but you see them as negatives.. H brought me a hot chocolate. I was sad because we usually share one cup..
There are others who would be over the moon if their spouse brought them a coffee etc. BTW, if he often brings you these things, it may be one of his LLs (receiving gifts). Do you ever bring him a coffee or drink or bagel?
High season shmigh season. If you do not take time for you you will crash. Most of us can use work to dive into and forget about H, you cannot. If you do not do something for you then he has all your space. No one should ever have that, not even in a wonderful happy marriage.
I cannot stress how important it is to do something every day for you. Even if it is getting up to exercise or talk a walk or go for a mani etc etc.
Try to think of a reward you can look forward to at the end of the day. I nice glass of wine and soak in the tub.