ok, on 5LL... my high scores are 12 physical touch, 8 words of affirmation. How can I find out what h's are? I would think he likes acts of service. Can I do the test for him?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Those are my LLs. No you can't do test for him. Are you listening to yourself? You post your LL and immediately follow with how can I tell my husbands can I take it for him. Honestly re-read that and see how silly it sounds.
You should be able to identify your spouses love language. I knew my wife's were acts of service and quality time.
Often you try to speak your love language to your spouse. So in your case. Physical touch and affirmation. (Hugs & compliments ) but.... his LL is acts of service so that don't work.
Anyways it's just a tool to understand yourself better.
My wife has trouble with words of affirmation . It's hard for me. I do tons of acts of service and all I want is a thank you or a hug. I hardly get it but when I do it makes me goofy . But overtime she will do acts of service for me and I just take that as her way of saying I love you.
This is something you share with a spouse when you move into piecing . My wife took quiz but we were piecing . I took quiz 8 months before her and I listened to the book 3 times on iTunes . These are things you can start to do to focus on yourself . Stop asking about H
In a side note this part of your signature looks silly:
"agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13
I highly doubt in my opinion he came to you and said that . It sounds like more that you pressured him and he gave you the answer you wanted to hear so your feelings didn't get hurt
Why don't you put that up there when your H truly comes to you asking to get back together and work on things . I don't think he will until you take the advice on this board.
The stuff you posted above are some good starting points.
But you need to let go of your husband , give up control, and work on yourself. When you interact with him for business treat him as peer and that's it.
Don't analyze txts, txt response times, etc etc etc. just stop. Put a rubber band on your arm and when you want to obsess about H , snap it hard. I use to visualize stop sign or pull my arm hair .
You can do this.
Can you join yoga class with friend or daughter. Go see reike specialist in your area. Ultimate relaxation
PON... I was asking about LL for h, because I have been reading how others had done it, so thought I misses 1/2 the test. Would like to be sure of his LL, and not assume...thats all.
As for the signature... I leave it like that as a reminder of the fool I was on that date. It was me pushing him into "agreeing"... and he did, but didn't back it up. However, when I did the same thing on April 2... he has been nice ever since, and I have noticed some baby steps... so, I am keeping it like that, until I can change it to something better. MY reminder of a backslide.
As for treating my h as a peer, that is a difficult task. As I want more & fear that having only a business rel'p with him will only be just that... business. But, I guess if that is all he wants, there's nothing I can do about that.
Ok.. i will stop analyzing texts/text time, etc... all of it!
I have "thought" and even enquired about yoga... its not really my thing, but am open to it. My D is finished school in a few more days, she has a pass, so I may take it up with her...just to do anything different.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Focus on yourself. That why I was hesistant telling you about LL. First thing you say is H talk. Focus on yourself. Stop stop stop. Once you give up control and let go of your H your anxiety will go away
Today is my anniversary... 20 years... guess we didnt make it
super sad.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Thanks In-it. The thing is, Im not even sure h will remember as we haven't celebrated it in a few years, and he has even forgotten a few times. A real sore spot.
I have to see him today too (client appts). Sigh
Lord, give me strength to not lose it today !! NO R Talks!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
You can handle it! Just try to think of it as any other day. I know it's easier said than done, but anything is worth a shot.
With all the ups & downs endured already prepare yourself to expect and feel like what one of those hardest you've had thus far. Maybe that can help your mindset throughout the day. And maybe, just maybe it won't be as bad as the baddest days. I have a feeling that may be the case.
Good luck!
M 34 H 35 D 7 D 6 M 10 T 14 Pregnant w/ boy/girl twins-due 12/2013 BD 12/15/12
I will handle it... just hope to STFU, and not get into R talk or cry around him! I just want to stay in bed and cry today. Wish I didn't have to see him...Gotta suck it up!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
