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Hi Beatrice! I love your analogy of changing a suit (to suit them when they want). But, I don't think the new suit will fit them very well, because it's sewn with lies, and the backs of other's unhappiness. They pretend anger, and upset, but I think deep down, they know the truth, and it will make their lives uncomfortable. And we LBSers are always the target of their anger, trying to make the new life balanced.

Make sense here????


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
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I agree - and I think what you said ties in with Renee's post about why they are angry. The new clothes are probably more like the Emperor's new clothes - not really splendid, at all and not visible to anyone but them!

I think once we are detached and our happiness is not longer tied up with them at all, we can start to relax and enjoy our lives.

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Quote:
My goodness a tag - "explodes at xx years" could have been helpful! I certainly would have arranged my finances differently.


ROFL!!!!! Yes, such a tag certainly would have been helpful with my ex!!!!

"Caution - this husband will spoil and turn into a stinking rotten mess if kept past his expiration date"

kml #2334238 03/30/13 02:02 AM
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Bea, I rarely disagree with you, but, I am now. You have been nothing but grace throughout this. You loved your xh and your family - and fought for them throuhgout.

And yep, I have become proficient in a great many things - of necessity. Feels pretty good, though!

I pray my son finds his way. He has a lot of my qualities, so, I know he will. wink

kml #2334244 03/30/13 02:32 AM
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Originally Posted By: kml
Quote:
My goodness a tag - "explodes at xx years" could have been helpful! I certainly would have arranged my finances differently.


ROFL!!!!! Yes, such a tag certainly would have been helpful with my ex!!!!

"Caution - this husband will spoil and turn into a stinking rotten mess if kept past his expiration date"


LOL!!! This is so true.

Maybe we should thump on em like melons.


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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edit.....and fought for them throughout all this. Geez.

And yes, I would have arranged my finances waaaayyyy differently. LOL!

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Ummm where I live we gently press melons and then sniff them!!!

Come to think of it my xh smelt different as he was going into MLC - probably his hormonal changes. OK TMI here.

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Originally Posted By: beatrice
Ummm where I live we gently press melons and then sniff them!!!

Come to think of it my xh smelt different as he was going into MLC - probably his hormonal changes. OK TMI here.


Quote:
Come to think of it my xh smelt different as he was going into MLC - probably his hormonal changes. OK TMI here.



Funny Beatrice, but both of the above bring back memories.

1) At one of my early outspoken anger moments I told my H that "Had I known that he came with an expiration date especially in regard of his duties toward his family, I would have never married him" and
2) In the peak of his crisis, he both sweated profusely and had a strange body smell.

As hard as it sounds, one should feel sorry for them really.


Bomb: 4/2009
M28 T32 Sep8
Me: 53, H:57
S20,D17
D papers filed by H: 2013
H didn't follow up with divorce
I completely let go ever since
elfie #2334293 03/30/13 08:43 AM
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Ooops! I meant to include the quote:

My goodness a tag - "explodes at xx years" could have been helpful! I certainly would have arranged my finances differently.

to the above comment, but it didn't work.


Bomb: 4/2009
M28 T32 Sep8
Me: 53, H:57
S20,D17
D papers filed by H: 2013
H didn't follow up with divorce
I completely let go ever since
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Bea,
Actually, no it's not TMI. Many spouses of the mlcers have stated that their mlcers smelt different. I know mine did and began having acne problems as well as sweating profusely at night. I do agree w/you about it most likely was hormonal changes.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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