I had three major issue3: (1)not employed full-time, (2)not paying enough attention to wife's needs, (3)intimacy issue.
I think I fixed the first one (I should know by tomorrow). Since W is distancing herself from me it is hard to work on the other 2.
You can't do much about the 3rd, but regarding the 2nd, have you read the 5 Love Languages? It'll give you some tools to work on paying attention to your W's emotional needs without crossing into pursuit.
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I am trying to be patient because I know this is a marathon but part of me feels like hanging onto hope is causing me too much anxiety.
That'll pass. I too had a lot of anxiety about waiting, but after a few months when you settle into your "new normal" and start to accept your new life, the anxiety goes away. I think a lot of the anxiety is due to fear of the unknown, it kicks us into that "fight or flight" mode.
Originally Posted By: 2ndtimearoundCA
I realize that w has an OM now. I started the paperwork for divorce and I am going dark. My last hope is that this will draw her to me. There are no children so I am completely gone; she will have to reach out to me.
Is OM a deal killer for you? Don't rush into a divorce, do some serious soul searching first. Give yourself at least a couple of weeks to sort through your emotions. You don't want to make any decisions while in emotional turmoil, wait until you settle down and can think more clearly. DO NOT force the divorce in the hopes that it will make your W "see the light". That is not the way to do it!!
