Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
So glad you got that ball rolling, 2TP. Sounds like a GREAT pair of friends!!
Remember, if you do decide to share more with them, you are NOT asking them to choose either you or your wife. You are asking them to choose (be in support of) the MARRIAGE.
Remember, if you do decide to share more with them, you are NOT asking them to choose either you or your wife. You are asking them to choose (be in support of) the MARRIAGE.
Absolutely! Other friends have reminded me of the same thing.
So today I was thinking about what was going on in my life last year at this time. It had been 5 months since W dropped the bomb and 3 months since we separated. Oh, and W was in the hospital ICU with severe heart failure. She was literally on her death bed, or so the doctors believed, and so did I!
Fast forward 1 year and W is completely and miraculously recovered. Our M is still in the dumper but at least she has her health. Oh, and she got her dream breast reduction a few months ago. I wonder what things will look like next year at this time.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Glad your friends were supportive, you should give them a call. There's a time to be stoic, and a time to let it all out. You've been in pain for a long time and there is virtue in accepting compassion from friends. I found my friends to be very supportive and that was heartwarming.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
I have a little dilemma and need some perspective:
Spring break is coming up and I'm considering a family vacation, (W and my 2 boys). Should I do it?
Here's a little context. My 2 sons play competitive sports which sometimes requires overnight travel. Even though my W and I are separated, we still attend these games as a family. When sharing a hotel room, we will do 2 queen beds with W in one and I'm in the other.
I recently asked my W about the big "us" and she said her feelings hadn't changed (17 months later) though she hasn't filed for D. I told her I need to stop being her fall back, go-to guy for things if she wasn't willing to work on the M. Our R in all other aspects is tons better than BD. I'm am making moves now to get my life a little more organized, get my own apartment instead of sharing a place with a roommate, etc. In essence, I'm moving on.
Considering all of this, and the fact that I have ZERO expectations about anything R related, is there any down side to this family spring break vacation? Upside?
I appreciate the feedback.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
2 u know I have your back. But it's time to Rock the boat buddy. No more vacations sharing queen beds or anything. Yes to answer your question IMO. There is a huge down side to your plan. You are prolonging the healing pain and suffering. Let her go. And stop lying to yourself about not having expectations because we don't buy it. We are on to you.
There I said it.....
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
