"eyes open" is further down the road than you are and he's just stating facts, as he has already experienced all of what he reads in your posts.
I don't mean to sound fatalistic, and sandi is right I am further along the path. You are correct as well in saying that the goal here is r. I believe the only way is to change yourself. I would be lying if I said I didn't wonder what my w is thinking, although I know it doesn't really matter until she tells me. So I do everything I can to focus on myself. It will take all your energy to dig deep and make the changes that you want. So try your hardest to not waste the energy focusing on her. I wish you all the luck in the world!
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
We do not recommend no taking your ring off. It could send a finite signal to your spouse. However what may be worse is a back and forth signal. If you do take it off, wait til your spouse shows a move towards you before putting it back on.
We do not recommend taking your ring off. It could send a finite signal to your spouse. However what may be worse is a back and forth signal. If you do take it off, wait til your spouse shows a move towards you before putting it back on.
We do not recommend taking your ring off. It could send a finite signal to your spouse. However what may be worse is a back and forth signal. If you do take it off, wait til your spouse shows a move towards you before putting it back on.
Corrected
I had not been wearing it for a while prior to the BD because of my weight gain. Since the BD, I've lost weight and it fits again so I have started wearing it again.
I meet with my W and the paralegal tomorrow. It's the first time I will have seen her since the BD (5 weeks ago). Any advice? I don't even know how to greet her? Hug? Handshake? Jeez, what a horrible situation this is.
On the plus side, I went on a wonderful 3.7 mile walk across some hilly terrain yesterday. Saw some incredible vistas. Tonight it's the gym after work.
Well, there was a "schedule conflict" and the meeting was postponed. I'm obligated to file my response to her petition soon. Had a good workout at the gym tonight.
I'm feeling really adrift today. Valentine's Day is coming up, I have to file my response to her petition this week, and all my friends seem to be out of touch. Even this thread seems to get ignored lately.
I'm going out after work to run some errands and buy some new clothes. Trying to keep a PMA, but it's really hard today.
Some days are just harder. First holidays, Anniversaries, BDay's etc. I found doing things that would distract me were the most helpful.
The gym is great, do you have a dog? Do you like them? I do urban walking groups when I get the chance (through meet up). It isn't a dating thing so there is no pressure, you just sign up for the things you like to do.
I meet with my W and the paralegal tomorrow. It's the first time I will have seen her since the BD (5 weeks ago). Any advice? I don't even know how to greet her? Hug? Handshake?
I would just stand back and let her initiate. If she holds her hand out then shake it, if she reaches for a hug then hug her back, if she does nothing then do nothing. 5 weeks from BD is a very, very short time, it's much too soon to try to start pushing for physical contact of any kind. Good luck!
Some days are just harder. First holidays, Anniversaries, BDay's etc. I found doing things that would distract me were the most helpful.
The gym is great, do you have a dog? Do you like them?
Yeah, I try and keep very busy when I'm not at work, but it's a slow day at work today and my mind is just racing. I love dogs, but I don't have one right now and don't see myself being in a place to have one for sometime.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
I would just stand back and let her initiate.
That's pretty much what I figured I should do. Now I just need to see when this meeting will be rescheduled.
You are not being ignored here, but the more active you are on the board, usually the more responses you'll have.
Don't sweat Valentines Day! It's just a day on the calendar that markets try to make money by telling you what you should be doing.....and thus, spend money. You do not need to acknowledge her as your sweetheart when she's filing D papers. I mean, how pursuing would that be!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
