Protect yourself and your daughter. Stop pursuing. He knows you love him and want him back. He knows he has that "option". You neediness is pushing him away.
Stop making all your decisions based on what you think he wants, will work on getting him back, or will not p!ss him off.
You must act as if he's gone. That does not mean you are angry towards him or unkind. It just means you continue with your life in the best way that is good for you and your D.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
I told him, just this morning, that I will continue to be here for him and do what I can to support him and show him that I will always love him while D and I are living in our family home. We will be here for at least another 5 months. I just don't see any progress while we still live here.
So for the next 5 months my plan is to continue to keep working on myself, exercising and sleeping more, try to adjust to being by myself (I don't have a lot of friends and have D 13 days out of 14), and working through my codependency issues with IC. I am going to let the lawyer iron things out but again all decisions cannot be made while we are in our family home.
I know its "more of the same". I feel so stupid. I'm making a vow right now, no more emails.
Because the division of assets includes the profit from the home selling and without knowing what that profit is at this time, I cannot know what a fair division is. He doesn't see it that way and is making assumptions on what the value of the house and assets are.
H began with OW over 5 months ago and moved in with her over 2 months ago. When this began, he also stopped spending time with D as well. And when he moved out, he did without any type of arrangement or schedule. He pops in every once in a while during the week. After the new year, D was still asking him when he was coming home, so I asked him to start taking D overnight away from our home to help her adjust and he agreed to take her every second Saturday night so that is what our current arrangement is. He does not take her to OW house, but to his mothers house.
I am keeping a journal, I have been since this started of everything that happens. I think its part of the reason I am so conflicted because he really is being an a@@ as a father but yet I still love him and want him to come home and feel that this OW and the life he is living with her is affecting not only him returning but his abilities as a father. I don't think he would be the way he is now if he was just willing to work on our M. People think I'm an idiot for still wanting him after all of this, some days I think the same thing. I just feel that 15 years and a child together is not something to throw away and is worth saving.
No more emails about "us". I do have to email him today to ask him to come back out to plow the driveway.
