I agree with everyone's advice. You can speak to your dad, but cannot control his actions. And he is hurting too, which will make him act impulsively. My mom did this many times. Now, she doesn't even want to speak to my H anymore.
Wow, lots of great help! Thank you Bug, Breakdown, IO, and Tori. W was pleasant when she came home, it wasn't until she was about to go to bed did I ask if she wanted to talk. It was about a 5 min convo. She didn't go into details about what was said. She bashed him a little, compared me to him at times. I agreed with some if her complaints. Apologized for him speakinf, but not sure what he said. So she was a little venomous about it (dont make me keep the kids from him), but that is total BS. I did state understanding her hurt, and asked for her not to take it out on me. So it went ok. But to be honest, a surge of anger came over me after she left. Pretty much along the lines of, if what she did wasn't wring, why does she want it to be a secret. Typical I guess. Oh well, in the bright side of today, I scheduled an interview for Friday. Yay me!
Hey! Good luck in the interview. Sometimes, at least I do, I need someone to be on my side, so it is nice that you apologized for him. It goes a long way, trust me. Probably her behaviour wasn't saint like, but remember, we are at the point of looking really hard at ourselves, but most of our spouses are not.
Thanks for the pats on the back IO and Bug! This morning while all of us were getting to work, W was nice and friendly. Maybe she is actually keeping her anger towards my Dad's comments towards him, and not me. The funny thing is that during the convo, I did tell her one thing my Dad recently said, "Either get a D, or fix it whatever we need to fix." She was caught off guard by the latter part of that statment. Yes, I could have very easily reacted angrily and argued with her, but I knew that would not help anything in anyway, shape, or form.
I need to take her niceness simply at that, nothing more. Time to get to work. I hope you all have a nice day!
I'll check back later on hopefully get caught on the rest of you 8)
Yes. Overall I'm okay. Thanks for asking. A part of me is growing tired of the living arrangements / limbo land. It truly is different than before. I'm more detached than the first go around. Part of me is also feeling the vibe to say something to W about the sich and D as I don't want this to drag out forever. This may be b/c You and a few others have done so in an inspiring way. I'm holding off on that for a short while at least. I have one session left with Jody that I need to schedule.
As far as interactions with W today, she has been more than friendly, talkative, and shared her new Twitter account and how it works. She was impressed when I suggested she add TedTalk. Also, I noticed her checking me out while I was talking to S2 before taking S7 to Scouts. Weird. And again, doing my best to not get hooked. So that is how I'm doing.
I called in sick to work today b/c S2 wasn't feeling well. "My belly hurts," followed by several quick bathroom trips. All better now thankfully. I agreed to take off vs W, as work wasn't going to be that busy today and W had made somewhat of an unfounded complaint about who stays home with the sick kids. She felt it was one-sided. So I genuinely offered to stay home today, and she will tomorrow if need be.
She has called a few times to check on him..and then chatted awhile. The niceness continues. So tonight we will be having our first of many $ talks, simply a snapshot of weekly expenses / income / etc. Something we should have done forever and a day ago. So I know that I can use this topic as a way to mend our R and further develop a friendship type of R.
Here is my question.... Based on our first talk, she had said we need to "stockpile" money in a savings account. W has always had the mindset of save first then tackle debt, whereas I am kind of the opposite. Safe for me to inquire what the purpose / financial goal is? I'm asking here, b/c I don't want to simply ask, "are we saving for Ls" and bring up the topic of D, yet don't want to be taken advantage of / support any Rs b/t her and any OMs. Hope I make sense here.
I know I am right for seeking clarity, just need the right way of going about it. If anyone has good suggestions, feel free to share.
so don't have advice on that afa... sorry. But I do have a big hug for you and sending you positive vibes for your talk tonight.
Glad S2 is feeling better....a lot can come out of their tummy's at that age when they are sick lol
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TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
