Andrew, I don't know Joanne. I do know Jody is awesome and she has a very solid background. I vote for waiting till Friday--your sitch seems to be stable enough to wait a week. But the decision is yours...
I called a few minutes ago and am set up for next Friday with Jody.
So last night W actually journaled. I wasn't watching her directly, but it seems as if she spent a good amount of time. Nice surprise. I know it's probably nothing wonderful like how she sees the error of her ways and needs to right her wrongs with me. I'm just happy to see her doing this incredibly challenging thing. It's a 180 for her.
So she came to bed and was super snuggly. I dreamed that we kissed; and she was tearfully asking for forgiveness / a 2nd chance. Let's hope that dream comes true. . So S2 and I have been hanging out all day like usual on Fridays. W called and talked a little longer than normal. She did mention thoughts of whatever she journaled was making her want to cry. I listened / validated and she changed subjects. Later on I sent her a text about a FB video of S2 singing and dancing that should make her smile. Also, a friend of mine texted me with an extra ticket to a hockey game tonight. I'm going to go. W thought is go out tomorrow, but is fine with me hung. A nice little mix up to the routine. Also, it allow us to take our Christmas shopping trip tomorrow night instead of Sunday. Dependent on us getting a sitter. So we will see what happens.
Andrew, I am guessing that things are going pretty well right now. Or so I hope! Put down all your questions for Jody. The first meeting will be really productive, even if you have to spend some time explaining your sitch.
I'm compiling a list of Qs for Jody, and will definitely share what comes of our first convo.
I had a good time at the hockey game. Sat, depression took over my W (i kept a PMA). Sunday we went shopping. We had fun. W did make the comment that it was kind of weird. I agreed but said let's have fun, and so we did. Mon W was a little distant but nice. Last night she was more withdrawn and seemingly secretive / guarded with her phone, bit more than nice before we went to bed ( no cuddling though). Today so far, she's been distant. But we'll see what comes of the rest of the night.
As for myself, I've been good and I've been having some intrusive thoughts (PA / OM), and questioning how much time ill continue along this path. I've been exercising patience and am reminded of how this is difficult to.do.
Great! Putting together your comments/ Qs will really help.
Tell me what behaviors make you think she's distant. Have you noticed anything that draws her in? This is a good thing to think about, so you can do more of what works.
The intrusive thoughts/patience running out will come and go, as you know. I'm kind of glad I'm not in that stage anymore, even though it'd be nice to not have those D papers filed.
Hang in there. You're doing so well! I was thinking this AM that if my H had a tenth of your drive to make your M work, he and I would be happy together now. Your W is a lucky woman.
Afa - Just read your entire thread (all 19 pages). There is a ton of good info from the vets in this post!!!
I just wanted to say it sounds like you are doing really good in a pretty tough sitch. Just keep up the good work and PMA. I'll be tracking from now on and trying to give some encouragement. I really relate to the emotional roller coaster you're on.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
Tori, W sitting and being sucked into the iPad and her phone while in the same room. Not talking really unless I start a conversation. Then she reciprocates. Not trying to mindread. She denies anything wrong, "just sick". Our house has been sharing a cold lately, so maybe I'm thinking too much. I'm keeping most of my neurotic thoughts to myself and focusing ob other things. Can't say anything really that is drawing her in the past few days.
Glad my thoughts are part of a stage, normal at least.
You flatter me so much with your compliments. Want her cell # so you can tell her? Lol.
Spartan, Thank you for reading up on my sich...all 19 pages of this one. I agree that I have lots of good advice. I don't know where I'd be without it. Thank you for your words of encouragement too. Stop by as often as you'd like.
Update Busy day at work for me. W asks me to pick her up from her work party. Invites me to hang out, "since I know everyone.". So I run an errand or two and then go. It was weird b/c I sat with her and 2 of her close friends. Each know most of everything (minus my side of the sich). Anyways, 1 of them thanks for me for a condolence message I sent her months ago when her father passed away. She then went on to tell me how she's struggling to cope / admit it and deal with the pain. I listen and validate. . She and her H aren't doing so well either, "not enough space to work on stuff". I respond, "Dint give up". She asks if I have, and I chuckle. Not yet. . I also offer her books, or someone just to talk to if she ever wants. Other than that convo, I present myself as the fun loving, great guy and make several jokes that everyone laughs at. Score for me in front of the friends to show W and them I'm a great guy. Now to prove that to myself ....
